Fuel for Success: Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivators Drive Performance and Well-Being

Fuel for Success: Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivators Drive Performance and Well-Being
by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D, ACPEC 

What fuels your drive when challenges arise? What gets you out of bed in the morning, ready to tackle the day? Motivation—the powerful force behind our actions—is one of the most essential elements influencing our performance, fulfillment, and overall well-being. And yet, so many professionals lack clarity on what truly motivates them, leading to disengagement, frustration, and burnout.

Motivators: The Fuel for Action

Last month we unpacked core values, your North Star to peak performance and well-being. Working in tandem with value are your motivators –  those driving forces behind your actions, propelling you toward goals.

Understanding your motivators, both intrinsic and extrinsic, is not just a theoretical exercise—it’s a strategic advantage. When you’re clear on what propels you forward, you make better decisions, set aligned goals, and create a work environment that enhances productivity and satisfaction. Let’s explore why this awareness matters and how to gain deeper insight into what drives you.

Why Motivation Matters

Motivation is the heartbeat of performance and well-being. It dictates whether we approach challenges with enthusiasm or resistance, whether we push through difficulties or retreat in frustration. When we understand what truly motivates us, we set ourselves up for greater success and fulfillment.

Here’s why understanding motivation is a game-changer:

1. It Fuels Sustainable Performance

Motivation isn’t about short-term bursts of energy—it’s about sustained engagement. When we’re aligned with our motivators, work feels more purposeful, and we’re naturally more productive. Without this alignment, we operate on willpower alone, which is finite and leads to exhaustion.

2. It Enhances Decision-Making

When we understand what drives us, we can make career and leadership decisions that align with our values and strengths. This clarity helps us avoid jobs, projects, or environments that drain us and instead move toward opportunities that bring out our best.

3. It Reduces Burnout and Stress

A misalignment between motivation and work responsibilities is a major contributor to burnout. If you’re driven by creativity but stuck in a rigid, bureaucratic role, exhaustion and frustration are inevitable. Conversely, when your work energizes you, stress becomes more manageable, and resilience increases.

4. It Strengthens Leadership and Team Dynamics

Great leaders don’t just understand their own motivators—they recognize what drives their teams. When leaders tap into both intrinsic and extrinsic motivators of their employees, they create an engaged, high-performing workplace where people feel valued and inspired. 

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that.”
– Howard Thurman 

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation: Understanding the Balance

Motivation generally falls into two categories: intrinsic (internal) and extrinsic (external). While both play a role, their influence varies depending on the individual and the situation.

Intrinsic Motivation: The Inner Drive

Intrinsic motivation comes from within. It’s fueled by passion, curiosity, purpose, and personal satisfaction. When we engage in activities because they are inherently rewarding, we perform at our best and experience deep fulfillment. Examples include:

  • A physician who finds joy in patient care beyond financial incentives
  • A leader who is driven by the impact of mentoring and developing others
  • A researcher who loves uncovering new knowledge, regardless of recognition

Extrinsic Motivation: External Rewards and Recognition

Extrinsic motivation is driven by external factors like financial incentives, promotions, awards, and societal recognition. While these motivators can be powerful, they are often less sustainable on their own. Examples include:

  • Working hard to earn a bonus or salary increase
  • Seeking a promotion or leadership title for status and recognition
  • Completing a project to gain external validation or approval

Neither intrinsic nor extrinsic motivation is inherently better—the key is understanding what balance works best for you. While intrinsic motivation leads to deeper satisfaction, extrinsic rewards can provide necessary structure and reinforcement. Successful professionals and leaders know how to integrate both.

How to Gain Clarity on Your Motivators

Self-awareness is the foundation of understanding motivation. Here are three ways to gain deeper insight into what drives you:

1. Reflect on Peak Experiences

Think about a time when you felt highly engaged, energized, and fulfilled at work. What was happening? What aspects of the experience brought you joy or a sense of accomplishment? Identifying patterns in these experiences will reveal key motivators.

2. Assess Your Energy and Engagement

Pay attention to tasks that naturally energize you versus those that feel draining. If leading strategic discussions lights you up but repetitive administrative work depletes you, that’s a clue about what motivates you. Keeping a motivation journal can be a helpful tool in this process.

3. Use a Motivation Assessment

There are numerous assessments available that help pinpoint intrinsic and extrinsic motivators. Tools like StrengthsFinder, the Predictive Index, or our intrinsic/extrinsic inventory can provide deeper insights into what drives your performance and engagement.

Applying Motivation Insights to Your Work and Leadership

Once you have clarity on your motivators, the next step is to align your work and leadership approach accordingly. Here’s how:

  • For Yourself: Seek out opportunities, projects, and roles that align with your motivators. If creativity fuels you, find ways to incorporate innovation into your work. If recognition is important, advocate for roles that allow your contributions to be acknowledged.
  • For Your Team: Understanding what drives your employees allows you to lead more effectively. Instead of using a one-size-fits-all approach, tailor your leadership to align with their motivators. This fosters engagement, loyalty, and high performance.
  • For Long-Term Growth: Motivation evolves over time. Reassess your drivers regularly and adjust accordingly. What motivated you five years ago may not be the same today—embracing this evolution is key to sustained career fulfillment.

Moving Forward with Your Motivators

Understanding your motivators is not just about boosting performance—it’s about aligning your work with what truly fulfills you. When we harness our motivation effectively, we experience greater engagement, resilience, and overall well-being. The clarity gained from this process is a strategic advantage, helping us navigate careers, leadership, and life with intention and purpose.

Are you ready to unlock your full potential? Start by identifying your key motivators and align them with your work—it’s the catalyst for long-term success and fulfillment. We can help you gain clarity on your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators. 

We have a fun inventory to gain clarity on intrinsic and extrinsic motivators.  Just click on the button below to get started. 

Core Values at Work: The Key to Engagement, Fulfillment, and Success

Core Values at Work: The Key to Engagement, Fulfillment, and Success

What drives you to show up to work every day—beyond the paycheck? The answer often lies in your core values—the deeply held beliefs that shape your decisions, relationships, and sense of purpose. When your work aligns with these values, you feel more engaged, motivated, and fulfilled. When there’s a disconnect, frustration and burnout often follow.

Last month we revealed our typical client journey ‘The Metamorphosis Method™, ‘ which incorporates four pillars into our customized coaching engagements.  These four pillars include Values, Motivators, Strengths, and Saboteurs. As we take a deeper dive into each of the pillars and how they serve as a roadmap for clients, this month we feature and unpack values – why they are important to extract and how they implicate work performance and well-being.

When we disconnect our professional pursuits from our personal values, we compromise our integrity. The most powerful professional journey emerges when we create genuine alignment between what we do and who we are.

– Brittney-Nichole Connor-Savarda, Founder and Editor of EI Magazine

 

  • Find Meaning in Your Work – Employees who see a connection between their values and their job feel more invested in their roles.
  • Enhance Decision-Making – When tough choices arise, values serve as a guide for making aligned, confident decisions.
  • Increase Engagement & Performance – Studies show that employees who work in value-aligned environments are more productive and innovative.
  • Build Stronger Workplace Relationships – Shared values foster trust, collaboration, and a positive team culture.

Core values serve as your internal compass, guiding decisions and behaviors. When you’re clear about what truly matters to you—such as integrity, creativity, or efficiency—you’re better equipped to make choices that resonate with your authentic self. This alignment reduces internal conflict, promotes clarity, and enhances overall satisfaction. Conversely, neglecting your values often leads to dissatisfaction and burnout, as you’re operating in ways that conflict with your identity. For instance, a professional who values autonomy might struggle in a micromanaged environment, eroding their performance and well-being.

How to Identify & Incorporate Your Values at Work

  1. Reflect on What Matters Most – Consider moments when you’ve felt most fulfilled or frustrated at work. What values were honored or compromised?
  2. Assess Organizational Alignment – Does your company’s mission reflect your values? If not, how can you create alignment in your daily work?
  3. Communicate Your Values – Share what motivates you with colleagues and leaders to foster better understanding and collaboration.
  4. Live Your Values Daily – Whether through decision-making, leadership, or workplace interactions, let your values guide your actions.

Gaining clarity on your core values can take a little bit of time, though the minimal investment of time yields substantial dividends. We use an inventory along with some thoughtful contemplations to extract client values. Most of our clients spend 2-3 sessions gaining clarity on their values. And the implications are profound, lending to higher engagement and performance as well as greater fulfillment and well-being. We’d be honored to help you discover your core values so you embody and model who you are in what you do.  Just click on the button below to get started. 

Revealing “The Metamorphosis Method™” to Achieve Peak Performance with Sustained Well-Being

Revealing “The Metamorphosis Method™” to Achieve Peak Performance with Sustained Well-Being

In celebration of our 15th anniversary, I’m excited to share our typical client journey, whether it is for individual leaders, groups or teams. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words, in this case, revealing the ‘Metamorphosis Method™.’ Although every engagement is customized and co-created with our clients, there are four pillars we incorporate in every coaching engagement. These four pillars include Values, Motivators, Strengths, and Saboteurs. Clarity of each pillar is fundamental to achieving peak performance while maintaining sustained well-being. These self-awareness pillars create a roadmap for aligning personal and professional actions with intrinsic drivers, fostering growth and resilience without compromising mental or physical health. This month we’ll give a broad overview and then we’ll take a deeper dive for the next four months to unpack one pillar at a time and share why it’s important and how we help our clients gain clarity and leverage the pillar. 

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare”
– Japanese Proverb

Core Values: Your North Star

Core values serve as your internal compass, guiding decisions and behaviors. When you’re clear about what truly matters to you—such as integrity, creativity, or efficiency—you’re better equipped to make choices that resonate with your authentic self. This alignment reduces internal conflict, promotes clarity, and enhances overall satisfaction. Conversely, neglecting your values often leads to dissatisfaction and burnout, as you’re operating in ways that conflict with your identity. For instance, a professional who values autonomy might struggle in a micromanaged environment, eroding their performance and well-being.

Motivators: The Fuel for Action

Motivators are the driving forces behind your actions, propelling you toward goals. These can be intrinsic, like the joy of mastering a new skill, or extrinsic, such as recognition or financial rewards. Understanding what energizes you ensures you’re channeling effort into pursuits that inspire sustained engagement. Misaligned motivators—chasing goals that don’t spark genuine enthusiasm—can lead to frustration and diminished productivity. For example, an individual motivated by purpose may find higher satisfaction working for a mission-driven organization than in a role solely focused on profit.

Strengths: Leveraging What You Do Best

Peak performance thrives on recognizing and utilizing your strengths. These are your innate talents and skills that, when leveraged, create a sense of flow and accomplishment. By identifying and amplifying your strengths, you not only enhance performance but also foster confidence and job satisfaction. Research shows that those who leverage their strengths are more engaged, productive, and happier. However, over-relying on strengths can backfire if they’re applied inappropriately or without balance, underscoring the importance of nuanced self-awareness.

Saboteurs: Managing Potential Pitfalls

Saboteurs are behaviors or tendencies that, when unmanaged, can hinder your success. These often stem from overused strengths or stress responses. For instance, a highly detail-oriented individual might derail by becoming overly critical or micromanaging, alienating team members. Recognizing your saboteurs enables proactive management, ensuring they don’t undermine your performance or relationships. The first step in weakening your saboteurs is to know what they are; when you can name them, you can tame them!

The Metamorphosis Method™ – the Intersection of Awareness and Action

The true power of understanding your core values, motivators, strengths, and saboteurs lies in integrating this knowledge into daily actions. Self-awareness without action is insight wasted. Regular reflection and alignment exercises—such as journaling, coaching, and assessments—can help you stay attuned to these elements. Additionally, cultivating environments that honor your values and leverage your strengths reduces stress and fosters resilience, supporting both peak performance and well-being.

Achieving peak performance with sustained well-being isn’t about relentless effort but rather intentional alignment. By deeply understanding and integrating your core values, motivators, strengths, and derailers into your life, and work you’ll build a foundation for success that doesn’t come at the expense of your health or happiness. This self-awareness serves as both a shield against burnout and a catalyst for thriving in an ever-evolving world.

Let us help you find alignment in your values, motivators, and strengths while weakening your saboteurs. Let’s co-create an integrated vision with strategy to achieve peak performance with sustained well-being! Just click on the button below to get started.

Unlocking Potential: How Psychological Safety Fuels Innovation and Team Success

Unlocking Potential: How Psychological Safety Fuels Innovation and Team Success

Happy New Year and may your 2025 be off to a wonderful start! We’re committed to helping you and your organization grow and thrive and in this vein, kicking off the year on a topic that is vital to success….

In today’s world where innovation and collaboration define success, psychological safety has emerged as a game-changer for organizations. It’s the secret ingredient that allows teams to thrive—empowering employees to voice ideas, take risks, and challenge the status quo without fear of judgment. But creating this kind of environment requires more than good intentions; it demands intentional leadership, open communication, and a culture that embraces learning and inclusivity. Ready to discover how psychological safety can transform your workplace into a hub of creativity and engagement? Dive into our latest contribution to EI Magazine to uncover actionable strategies for fostering trust, transparency, and resilience within your teams.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE ARTICLE IN EI MAGAZINE 

“Diversity is a fact, but inclusion is a choice. It’s about intentionally creating spaces where every voice is heard, valued, and empowered to contribute.” Dr. Tim Clark

Challenge What are the ways you create the atmosphere in your organization where everyone is excited to show up, feeling like they belong and want to be a part of your organization? 

We’re here to help you successfully cultivate more psychological safety in your organization, to thrive and grow in 2025.  Should you wish to reach out for an inquiry… just click on the button below to get started. 

Finish Strong: Why Year-End Is Perfect for Leadership Pipeline Planning

Finish Strong: Why Year-End Is Perfect for Leadership Pipeline Planning

As the year winds down, many organizations turn their focus to planning and budgeting for the year ahead. This makes the end of the year the ideal time to prioritize the development of a leadership pipeline. Why? Because it’s a natural period for reflection, goal-setting, and resource allocation. Leadership development is a long-term investment, and by starting the process at year’s end, organizations can align their strategies with annual goals while capitalizing on the momentum of a fresh start.

The end of the year provides a unique vantage point for evaluating the strengths and gaps in an organization’s current leadership structure. With a year’s worth of performance data and feedback in hand, leaders can assess which skills, roles, and qualities need to be cultivated to meet future challenges. Budgeting at this time ensures leadership development is not treated as an afterthought but as a strategic priority. Allocating resources now allows for a structured approach—training programs, mentorship initiatives, and succession planning can all be mapped out and integrated into the broader organizational calendar.

To maximize this period of planning, organizations can adopt a few simple strategies. First, conduct a leadership audit to identify high-potential employees and skill gaps. This helps focus investments where they’ll have the most impact. Second, establish clear goals for leadership development tied to business objectives, ensuring alignment with broader organizational strategies. Finally, commit to a mix of development methods, such as coaching, workshops, and cross-functional projects, to provide diverse growth opportunities. By using the end of the year to plan and budget for leadership development, organizations position themselves for long-term success, building a robust pipeline to sustain growth and innovation.

Building Tomorrow’s Leaders Today: How Smart Organizations Cultivate a Strong Leadership Pipeline

The Case for a Strong Leadership Pipeline: Building Organizational Resilience

In today’s fast-paced and ever-changing business landscape, organizations must be agile, resilient, and forward-thinking to thrive. A robust leadership pipeline is not just a “nice to have”—it’s essential for sustained success. Developing future leaders ensures that your organization remains adaptive and competitive, even amidst uncertainty. When employees are given opportunities to grow into leadership roles, it creates a steady stream of talent ready to step up as the organization evolves. This proactive approach mitigates risks associated with leadership gaps, which can disrupt operations and morale.

Beyond continuity, investing in leadership development fosters a culture of engagement and innovation. Employees who see a clear path for advancement are more likely to stay motivated and committed to the organization’s success. Leadership development initiatives, such as mentorship programs, succession planning, and targeted training, empower individuals to hone their skills while aligning their goals with organizational priorities. This alignment not only strengthens your internal talent pool but also attracts external candidates who value a workplace that prioritizes professional growth. A vibrant leadership pipeline signals to the workforce that their contributions are valued and their potential recognized.

A leadership pipeline ensures your organization is prepared for the future—not just for filling roles, but for shaping the next wave of leaders who embody your mission and values. Strong leaders create other strong leaders, cascading positive behaviors and fostering innovation across all levels. It’s about more than filling vacancies; it’s about cultivating a legacy of excellence. Organizations that prioritize leadership development are more likely to navigate challenges effectively, maintain their competitive edge, and inspire a culture of long-term growth. Investing in your pipeline today ensures a resilient, dynamic, and future-ready organization for years to come.

Anticipating and Normalizing the Change Adoption Cycle

Anticipating and Normalizing the Change Adoption Cycle

Change is inevitable and how people respond to it can vary widely. Anticipating the change adoption cycle is key to successfully guiding teams through transitions. In any organization, some individuals—early adopters—will embrace change with enthusiasm, while others may resist or require more time to adapt. Leaders who understand and normalize this cycle can better manage expectations and create a supportive environment. Early adopters play a pivotal role in gaining momentum for change. By engaging them as champions, leaders can amplify their enthusiasm, showcasing their positive experiences to inspire others. These advocates demonstrate what’s possible, making the change feel less daunting for those still on the fence.

Celebrating progress after each phase of the change process is critical for maintaining morale and commitment. Breaking change into manageable steps allows teams to see tangible results and fosters a sense of accomplishment. Whether it’s completing a successful pilot project, hitting a key milestone, or hearing positive feedback from early adopters, each achievement is an opportunity to recognize the team’s efforts. Publicly acknowledging these wins reinforces the value of the change and energizes the group for the next step. Celebrations don’t have to be elaborate; even small gestures like a team shout-out or a thank-you note can make a big impact on motivation. Celebrating also reinforces desired behavior, so is worth the time!

Empathy is the cornerstone of effective change management, particularly for those who are slower to adapt. Resistance to change often stems from fear, uncertainty, or a lack of understanding. Leaders who take the time to listen, validate concerns, and address questions build trust and create a safe space for employees to adapt at their own pace. Empathy doesn’t mean slowing down progress; instead, it ensures that everyone feels supported during the journey. By combining empathy with strategic momentum from early adopters and celebrating each step forward, leaders can normalize the change adoption cycle, making transitions smoother and more sustainable for everyone involved.

Navigating Change Management Through Big-Picture Strategy

Navigating Change Management Through Big-Picture Strategy

Successfully navigating change requires more than tactical adjustments; it demands a shared understanding of the big-picture strategy. At its core, change management is about aligning people, processes, and goals with a vision of the future. To create momentum, leaders must articulate the “why” behind the change—how it supports organizational objectives and prepares the team for long-term success. Sharing the overarching architecture of the change, rather than diving into granular details, helps teams see where they fit into the broader strategy. This approach fosters alignment, reduces resistance, and encourages collective buy-in.

A key element of strategic change management is leveraging early adopters. These individuals naturally embrace new ideas and can act as advocates for change. By involving early adopters in the process, you create a ripple effect; their enthusiasm and adaptability can inspire peers to get on board. Assign them visible roles in promoting the change, such as leading pilot projects or sharing testimonials about their positive experiences. Their firsthand credibility helps build trust and counters skepticism, creating the momentum needed to drive adoption across the organization.

Breaking down the change into clear, phased steps is also crucial, but at a strategic level, the focus should remain on outcomes rather than tasks. Outline milestones that demonstrate progress toward the ultimate goal, and celebrate small wins along the way. This helps reinforce commitment and reminds everyone why the change matters. By keeping the narrative focused on the vision, leveraging early adopters, and maintaining a phased approach, organizations can navigate change with purpose and resilience, ensuring it is both meaningful and sustainable.

Initial Steps to Navigating Change: Establishing the ‘Big Why’

Initial Steps to Navigating Change: Establishing the ‘Big Why’

In any journey of transformation, establishing a powerful “Big Why” is essential. A clear purpose or vision acts as the guiding force that not only fuels individuals but also unites teams as they move through challenging transitions. When people understand the deeper reason behind change—why it matters, what it stands to improve, and how it aligns with their own values—it transforms uncertainty into motivation. This shared purpose provides meaning to the sacrifices or temporary discomforts that often accompany change, helping everyone involved stay focused on the benefits that lie beyond the transition.

A collective “Big Why” inspires people to rally together, breaking down silos and fostering a stronger sense of community. When an organization or group takes the time to develop a shared vision, it instills a feeling of belonging and shared responsibility. Team members no longer feel as though they’re being forced to accept an unfamiliar future; instead, they become active participants in shaping that future. With a strong “Big Why,” people begin to see how their unique contributions make a real difference, which deepens their commitment to the shared goal. The shared motivation behind the change process becomes a source of resilience and creativity, as people work together to overcome obstacles and support each other through setbacks.

Establishing a “Big Why” behind change also provides a source of hope and inspiration during difficult times. When the path gets tough, the shared vision serves as a reminder of why everyone embarked on the journey in the first place. This connection to a higher purpose keeps morale high, even when progress feels slow. Leaders who emphasize this “Big Why” continually help their teams refocus on the larger impact, reinforcing the idea that each effort and every step forward matters. By fostering this sense of unity, purpose, and optimism, the “Big Why” becomes a powerful motivator, transforming the challenge of change into a fulfilling and shared adventure toward a brighter future.

Here are three thought-provoking questions that can help someone resistant to change explore the underlying reasons why something is important to them:

1. “What values or beliefs does this current situation fulfill for you, and what would change mean for these values?”
This question helps individuals connect with the deeper values they associate with their current way of doing things. Understanding these can reveal why they might feel conflicted about change and can highlight specific values they need to honor, even in a new approach.
2. “What would be the long-term impact on you, your team, or loved ones if nothing changed?”
This invites them to explore the future consequences of staying the same versus adapting. Often, acknowledging potential outcomes over time can help them see the potential costs of resistance more clearly.
3. “If this change aligned with your values or goals, how would it improve your life or work experience?”
This question shifts focus from the discomfort of change to the possibility of positive alignment. By imagining a scenario where change fits their values, they can start envisioning benefits and build an openness to considering new approaches.

The key is to inspire individuals and team members to connect a collective bigger why to their own, individual big why. Stay tuned as we peel back the proverbial layers and offer next steps in successfully navigating change.

Going to the Root Cause: Why Change is a Challenge

Going to the Root Cause: Why Change is a Challenge

Change is often uncomfortable because it disrupts our sense of stability and predictability. Humans naturally gravitate toward routines and familiar patterns because they provide a sense of security. These routines form the foundation of our daily lives, giving us a structure we can rely on to make decisions, manage stress, and anticipate outcomes. When change occurs, especially if it’s unexpected, it can feel like the rug is being pulled from under us. This lack of certainty can trigger anxiety, causing us to resist or avoid change altogether, preferring the familiar—even if it’s no longer serving us well. In a primal sense, survival is about maintaining the status quo, so any disruption or deviation from this, can trigger negative emotions and resistance.

Psychologically, change is difficult because it challenges our core beliefs and values. Many of the habits and behaviors we form over time become tied to our sense of identity. A career change, for example, can feel like more than just switching jobs; it can feel like questioning who we are and what we’re capable of. Similarly, letting go of an old habit may force us to confront aspects of ourselves we’re not comfortable with. Change asks us to step outside our comfort zones, reframe our self-perceptions, and sometimes accept failure as part of growth. This mental and emotional work is uncomfortable, which is why many people tend to shy away from it.

Despite its difficulties, embracing change is essential for growth. Once we understand that resistance to change is natural, we can begin to address it mindfully. The process of adapting becomes less daunting when we break change down into smaller, manageable steps and give ourselves grace along the way. Building resilience and a mindset that views change as an opportunity rather than a threat can transform the way we handle life’s inevitable shifts. Although change may be difficult, the rewards of personal growth, new perspectives, and greater adaptability make the effort worthwhile. Stay tuned this month as we unpack Change Management and offer numerous tips and strategies to navigate change with more grace and success.

Lid Lifters and Lid Closers: Navigating Change through Life’s Hurricanes

Lid Lifters and Lid Closers: Navigating Change through Life’s Hurricanes

October was an intensely stressful time for Floridians. My husband and I cut short a much-anticipated vacation so we could race home to prepare our house for Hurricane Milton. Still traumatized from two years ago when our home flooded from storm surge from Hurricane Ian, our PTSD was in overdrive. No surprise really, as memories of gutting our home, renovating, and moving five times, became top of mind again.

We were visiting friends in Annapolis and stayed on their 45-foot sailboat as part of a long weekend to attend the annual boat show. This trip was to happen two years ago, but Hurricane Ian had other plans for us. As we said goodbye and Ubered from their boat to the parking garage where we parked my car, the craziness of what would become a hellacious week unraveled. As I approached my car it sensed the app on my phone to unlock, but additionally, the hazard lights flashed and the hood popped open. Weird. I didn’t cue that on the key FOB or on my phone. I tried several times in the parking garage to engage drive, but couldn’t get the hood to remain closed and every time I shifted to park, the hazard lights would blink and the hood would pop open. Can’t have a hood opening while driving, especially on I-95, so I spent an hour plus on the phone with tech support to troubleshoot; of course, this added to our stress because it delayed our departure. Tech support helped some and we found a work around that took both me and my husband to simultaneously toggle a button on the car’s screen, while the other closed the hood then quickly put the car into drive so the hood wouldn’t pop open again. We had to go through this exercise EVERY time we put the car into park, so for a 2-day road trip with stops, imagine the many moments of frustration and fear. Fear was in overdrive. Fear by the way, is the most primal negative emotion AND a hurdle to navigating any type of change. The ‘lid lifting’ on my car was getting in the way of the change we needed to make, to get home asap!

In addition to needing to get home to do storm prep and the super annoying car problem, my dog who accompanied us, was sick. She’s very sensitive and seems to know when my nerves are short. Her illness was ‘southern hemisphere’ related and she had one accident on our friends’ boat before we bid adieu that morning. Not fun cleaning up the accident she had… in bed of all places! It happened a few more times, but we were safely outside. Then, it happened again, though this time it was in my car while we were driving on the highway. She expressed the urgency through whimpers and perched her feet on the console, but we didn’t make it in time before finding a safe place to pull over. So, it happened – in my new car and added more stress to an already pressured drive. As soon as I pulled over to clean up my car and put the car in park, the hood promptly opens. Ahhhhhhh! My lid was flipping for sure, literally and figuratively! So, imminent hurricane and lots of home prep weighing on us, super annoying and potentially dangerous car malfunction and a sick dog all make for a SUPER stressful 1100-mile drive home from Annapolis, MD to Southwest Florida.

We arrived home Monday evening and immediately got to work on storm prep. I’m always mentally fatigued after a 2-day drive and had no time to rest, but instead packed up our 2200 square foot home and elevated everything I could from floors, closets and office drawers and cupboards, while my husband worked outside on flood panels and waterproofing. Once again beds looked like mountains with the contents of closets and this time we even elevated our new leather chairs and put them on one of the sofas (we waited 4 months for these dang chairs after the last flood so I was determined to save as much as possible). Tuesday was more prep from early morning until bedtime when we collapsed. On Wednesday we woke at 5:00 AM, weary and drained, finished packing up and evacuated our home at 7:30 AM.

Milton spared us, though again clobbered our barrier islands and our neighbors in northern counties took the direct hit. Four days of clean-up, unpacking and putting the house back together included discussions, heated at times between me and my husband about exploring options so we don’t continue to endure trauma and disruption from natural disasters. Still mentally raw from Hurricane Ian 2 years ago and all the work of renovating, moving and getting our abode perfect, my lid was closed to change that would take me away from the home that is special and sacred to me, and represents stability and oh so many memories. And there are so many unique things that we would never find in a different home, at least that we could afford. Figuring out next steps has been challenging and is currently in process as we weigh options.

Of the models we consult and apply when navigating Change Management with clients, there are essentially five steps to incorporate. I know where the hurdle exists in this personal example and it is the very first critical step – My ‘Why’ is different from my husband’s. I have a very strong attachment to our home and he does not. I also happen to work from a home office and so am in the home much more, reinforcing this attachment. In organizations, when there is a discrepancy in the ‘Why’ is when resistance to change and subsequent conflict ensues.

So what’s the work around – when is it best for the lid to open vs closing the lid? The open lid can be chock full of messiness and uncertainty, whereas the closed lid may represent comfort and stability. The answer is it all depends upon establishing a collective vision that inspires the Big Why. And we do this by peeling back the layers to arrive at the most meaningful and compelling reasons that unite instead of dividing. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t easy, though going sage to sage instead of saboteur to saboteur, makes it possible. Yeah, he we go again with Positive Intelligence™; it truly becomes an essential foundation in building resilience to navigate change

“In order for something to be born, something has to die. That’s not always, but there is something about that, that I find to be true. That is, it’s a natural thing. – Philip Seymour Hoffman

This month we’ll be unpacking Change Management and share many little tips, tricks and quotes on our LinkedIn page along with a new weekly email. May you enjoy and gain some insights to implement. Feel free to follow me on LinkedIn HERE

And, of course, we are here to help you successfully implement and navigate change in your organization or life should you wish to reach out for an inquiry… just click on the button below to get started. 

Fraudulent Credit Card Charges and PQ vs EQ

Fraudulent Credit Card Charges and PQ vs EQ

This past Monday, I woke up in a great mood and ready for the week. My mood slightly deteriorated while at the gym when I noticed a notification from my credit card for a $98 charge at Walmart, enrolling me in some sort of membership I didn’t authorize. Seconds later, my son calls me saying his debit card was also charged for $98 at Walmart. I did a Google search and confirmed a data breach from Walmart and, essentially, fraudulent charges for both me and my son. A subsequent call to my credit card company left me in a sour mood as I had to cancel my card, await a replacement, and, more annoyingly, update the 40 or so vendors where I have recurring charges. Oh, the time this will take [waste], grrrrrrrrr!!!! Surprisingly, I checked in with myself and realized I didn’t freak out, I was actually very calm and laser-focused and went right into problem-solving mode. My foundation in Positive Intelligence kept me grounded, calm, and laser-focused and facilitated my Emotional Intelligence to both problem-solve and exercise flexibility.

Positive Intelligence (PQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) are both vital for personal growth and professional success, yet they address different aspects of how we understand and manage our minds. Emotional Intelligence focuses on recognizing, understanding, and managing emotions—both our own and those of others. It involves skills like empathy, self-regulation, and interpersonal communication, which help us build strong, positive relationships. Positive Intelligence, on the other hand, centers on developing “mental fitness,” the ability to handle life’s challenges with a positive mindset, or in my fraudulent charge example, bouncing back and handling setbacks without falling apart or wasting additional time. PQ is grounded in principles from neuroscience and positive psychology, emphasizing the identification and interception of self-sabotaging patterns, or “saboteurs,” that often prevent us from achieving our potential. This emphasis on mental fitness makes PQ a unique and complementary approach to EQ development.

A foundation in Positive Intelligence enhances Emotional Intelligence by addressing the root causes of emotional responses. Often, our reactions are shaped by mental saboteurs like the “Judge” or the “Avoider,” which influence how we perceive and process situations. PQ helps us become more aware of these patterns, allowing us to pause and respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting automatically. By building mental fitness, individuals can recognize when their thoughts or emotions are being hijacked by these saboteurs, gaining control over impulsive or negative reactions. This improved self-awareness strengthens EQ, as it enables more genuine empathy, better self-regulation, and more constructive communication, even in high-pressure situations.

In practice, cultivating PQ creates a durable foundation for EQ because it raises our capacity for resilience, adaptability, and clarity. When we understand the thought patterns that sabotage us, we’re better equipped to manage emotional triggers and stay grounded in challenging situations. This self-mastery is the bedrock of Emotional Intelligence, making it easier to develop empathy, compassion, and authentic connection with others. With both Positive Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence in place, we gain not only the skills to manage emotions effectively but also the mental strength to maintain a positive, growth-oriented approach to our lives and relationships, driving both personal fulfillment and professional success, even when things like bogus credit card charges irritate the Controller saboteur.

It Takes Positive Intelligence (PQ) to Grow Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

It Takes Positive Intelligence (PQ) to Grow Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

To elevate Emotional Intelligence (EQ), it’s essential to dive deep into the root causes of our negative patterns, or “saboteurs,” which can undermine our emotional responses, relationships and well-being. These saboteurs are self-sabotaging thought patterns, often rooted in past experiences and ingrained beliefs, that impact how we react to stress, challenges, and interactions. Without acknowledging and understanding these mental saboteurs, our efforts to improve EQ may only address surface-level issues rather than the foundational beliefs driving our behavior. Going deeper into why these saboteurs exist is the first step toward more authentic and effective emotional growth.

By exploring these root causes, we’re able to see how our reactions are often automatic responses to deeply embedded fears, insecurities, or past experiences. For example, someone with a strong Controller saboteur may feel an uncontrollable need to micromanage because they fear losing control, stemming from a past experience where they felt powerless. Recognizing this root cause enables them to step back and respond with more mindfulness, rather than reflexively. Similarly, other saboteurs like the Judge or Avoider can impact our ability to empathize, listen, or communicate effectively, creating barriers to building strong, trusting relationships. By identifying and addressing the underlying reasons for these behaviors, we can reframe our reactions and better understand ourselves and others.

Elevating EQ by understanding our saboteurs fosters healthier, more resilient relationships in all areas of life. It enables us to recognize triggers, pause before reacting, and respond with greater awareness and empathy. This deeper level of self-awareness helps us interrupt these negative patterns, making way for healthier, more constructive behaviors. Ultimately, by tackling the root of our self-sabotaging tendencies, we set the foundation for meaningful growth in Emotional Intelligence, resulting in improved communication, stronger connections, and a greater sense of inner peace.

PQ vs EQ Against Hurricanes

PQ vs EQ Against Hurricanes

Many in our community and surrounding states are suffering from hurricane fatigue. It’s a REAL thing and I can attest to the drain it’s had on my mental and emotional stamina. I’m thankful that my clients were so gracious in the cancellation of last week’s appointments because I was certainly not at my best to serve. And now as we begin to move beyond the trauma and attempt to return to some sense of normalcy, we know it will be a long road ahead for many.

So how does Positive Intelligence (PQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) come into play during times like this? Empathy is a superpower we must extend to both ourselves and others. It’s one of the key skills of Emotional Intelligence, but empathy is only sustainable when we first address the root cause of our negative emotions.

In my case, I’ve become well aware that my Judge and Controller saboteurs have reared their ugly heads and have caused me at times to spiral in negative emotions. These nasties have also caused me to react poorly to interactions with my husband as we’ve discussed our future in Southwest Florida. Fear has gotten the best of us and that’s completely normal after what we’ve been through. However, for empathy to be effective, we first need to intercept and weaken these saboteurs. As I often remind myself; when you can name it, you can tame it!

Here’s how that process looks:

Step 1: Recognize the negative emotions
When fear, anger, or frustration surface, my foundation in PQ helps me recognize that my Judge and Controller saboteurs are in overdrive. Simply naming these ‘nasties’ allows me to move forward and begin taming them. 

Step 2: Engage in grounding exercises
I do PQ reps or another grounding exercise to shift out of my head and stop the destructive spiral. Some of my go-to practices include walking, listening to music, petting my dog or using the “perfect breath” technique. These simple actions help disrupt the saboteurs and bring me back to center. 

Step 3: Apply empathy—for myself and others
Once I’ve interrupted the negative patterns, I double down on empathy. It’s essential to show myself compassion and extend that same grace to others. Recovery and next steps take time, and in moments like these, the paradox of ‘slowing down to speed up’ couldn’t be more true. 

There’s so much more to it, and we’re here to support you in making a greater impact in every area of your life. To those affected by Hurricanes Helene and Milton, we send our heartfelt wishes for a speedy recovery, along with strength and love during this challenging time. 

 

The Professional Development Model that Streamlines All Others: EQ Example

The Professional Development Model that Streamlines All Others: EQ Example

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Positive Intelligence ™ (PQ) streamlines other professional development models by simplifying the process of skill acquisition and personal growth into an accessible framework. Here’s how it works:

  1. Condenses complex processes into simple steps: PQ reduces the complexity of various models into three main steps: Pause, Notice, Choose. These steps are easy to remember and apply across various situations, making personal development more approachable. For example, compared to more detailed frameworks like the BarOn EQ-I’s “Pause, Process, Pick, Perform,” PQ simplifies it, making it more intuitive to use in high-pressure environments.
  2. Focus on mental fitness as a foundation: Many professional development models focus on skills, behaviors, and external strategies. PQ addresses the root cause of why individuals often fail to implement these strategies—mental saboteurs (negative thought patterns). By emphasizing mental fitness, PQ helps people identify and intercept self-sabotaging tendencies, making other models more effective and long-lasting.
  3. Applies across multiple disciplines: PQ is versatile, combining neuroscience, positive psychology, and performance science, which means it can be integrated into leadership training, team dynamics, emotional intelligence development, and even stress management. It enhances the effectiveness of these models by providing a core approach to overcoming mental blocks and optimizing performance.
  4. Builds resilience and adaptability: PQ not only streamlines but also strengthens other development models by helping individuals recover more quickly from setbacks and stay engaged in the learning process. Its focus on positive mental framing increases one’s capacity to cope with challenges, improving long-term results in professional development efforts. 

On contemplating “pre-silience”

“Resilience means bouncing back from adversity. But what we want is to train our minds so that we maintain our capacities even as we are experiencing challenge.”           

— Peak Mind by Amishi P. Jha, Ph.D.

Now, to apply our example – Positive Intelligence (PQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) are related but distinct concepts, each focusing on different aspects of personal and interpersonal development:

  1. Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It encompasses skills such as empathy, self-awareness, emotional regulation, and effective communication. EQ helps people navigate social interactions, build strong relationships, and make informed decisions based on emotional awareness.
  2. Positive Intelligence (PQ): Focuses on mental fitness, combining principles from neuroscience, positive psychology, and performance science to increase one’s capacity to handle life’s challenges with a positive mindset. PQ highlights how individuals often sabotage their own success by misusing their strengths and helps them develop mental resilience. PQ is about understanding the mental patterns and triggers that undermine performance and well-being, and building strategies to shift towards more productive, positive thoughts and behaviors.
  3. Key Difference: While EQ is about managing emotions and social interactions, PQ emphasizes mental fitness by addressing how we self-sabotage and helping individuals strengthen their ability to respond to challenges with a positive, growth-oriented mindset. PQ is a foundation for enhancing EQ, as it raises one’s capacity to manage emotional triggers more effectively.

So the takeaway we’d like you to consider is:

Positive Intelligence makes professional growth models more accessible, effective, and durable by simplifying processes, addressing root causes of self-sabotage, and building mental resilience.

PQ+EQ=A New You. Let’s simplify EQ acquisition through PQ!

 

What are the root causes holding you back? Let’s meet up for a chemistry call!

3 Simple Steps to Amplify Emotional Intelligence

3 Simple Steps to Amplify Emotional Intelligence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Amplifying emotional intelligence is about refining the ability to understand and manage emotions, which is crucial for personal growth, professional success, and well-being. Since 2010, we’ve been helping leaders and teams elevate Emotional Intelligence to inspire and influence for greater impact. And, one of the “gifts” from the Pandemic was discovering a new model and platform, called Positive Intelligence™ which streamlines and simplifies concepts from Emotional Intelligence so skill acquisition is facilitated easier and has a longer-lasting impact. By integrating EQ and PQ, leaders and teams can achieve greater emotional resilience and personal growth.

Here are the 3 steps to elevate Emotional Intelligence featured in the July 2024 edition of Emotional Intelligence magazine. CLICK HERE FOR A 2-MINUTE READ

“In every challenge or even tragedy, there is an opportunity. And if you train yourself to look for the opportunity, you will be able to take control of the situation and even turn it into a positive or if it can’t be turned into something good, at least something good could come out of it.” – Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson

Source: Likutei Sichot: The Collected Writings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe

 

For a deeper dive into amplifying your emotional intelligence or for your team, let’s meet up for a chemistry call! 

Achievement as a Pathway to Flourishing: Focusing on Process to Fuel Outcomes 

Achievement as a Pathway to Flourishing: Focusing on Process to Fuel Outcomes

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

It’s a fundamental component and the last in Martin Seligman’s PERMA model. In previous months, we explored Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, and Meaning; this month our focus is Accomplishment. Seligman, a pioneer figure in positive psychology, introduced the PERMA model to condense what he considers the five core elements of psychological well-being and happiness. And I’d like to underscore how all of the elements correlate with high performance, reinforcing our focus on performance and well-being in the work we do with leaders and teams. Each component of the PERMA model contributes to our overall sense of fulfillment, and achievement, in particular, plays a crucial role in helping individuals reach their full potential.

Understanding Achievement in the Context of PERMA

Achievement, or Accomplishment, within the PERMA framework, refers to the pursuit and attainment of goals that are intrinsically and extrinsically motivated. It encompasses the satisfaction derived from mastery, success, and the tangible outcomes of one’s efforts. Achievement is not just about ticking off tasks from a to-do list; it’s about striving for excellence, realizing potential, and experiencing a sense of competence and fulfillment. And it’s also about enjoying the journey as much as the destination, reinforcing a focus on the process.

The Role of Goals in Achievement

Goals are the cornerstone of achievement. They provide direction, structure, and purpose. Well-defined goals can be short-term or long-term, and they help individuals focus their efforts, monitor progress, and maintain motivation. In the context of the PERMA model, the pursuit of meaningful goals is essential for well-being because it fosters a sense of purpose and direction.

Setting SMART goals—specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound—can enhance the likelihood of success and the satisfaction derived from achievement. For example, a person might set a goal to learn a new language, run a marathon, or attain a professional certification. The process of working towards these goals and ultimately achieving them contributes significantly to one’s sense of accomplishment.

Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

Achievement can be driven by both intrinsic and extrinsic motivations. Intrinsic motivation refers to engaging in activities for their own sake, out of interest and enjoyment. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, involves performing tasks to obtain external rewards or avoid punishments. Seligman emphasizes that while extrinsic rewards can be motivating, intrinsic motivation is often more sustainable and fulfilling in the long run. Much of the time, intrinsic goals are things that we pursue because we enjoy something; whereas an extrinsic goal may be to satisfy someone else, stay out of trouble or appeal to a material, superficial motivation.

Intrinsic motivation is linked to personal growth and self-determination. When individuals pursue goals that align with their values, interests, and passions, they are more likely to experience deeper satisfaction and a sense of achievement. For instance, an artist who creates for the love of art rather than for commercial success is likely to find greater fulfillment in their work.

The Importance of Mastery and Competence

Achievement is closely tied to the concepts of mastery and competence. Mastery involves developing and refining skills and abilities, while competence refers to the belief in one’s capability to achieve desired outcomes. Seligman’s PERMA model highlights the importance of feeling competent and effective in various domains of life.

When individuals perceive themselves as competent, they are more likely to take on challenges, persist in the face of adversity, and experience higher levels of self-esteem. This sense of competence is reinforced through accomplishments, whether they are big or small. Each success builds confidence and encourages further goal-setting and achievement.

The Impact of Achievement on Well-Being

Achievement contributes to well-being in several ways. First, it provides a sense of purpose and direction, which is essential for psychological health. The pursuit of meaningful goals gives life structure and significance, making individuals feel that their efforts matter.

Second, achievement enhances self-esteem and self-efficacy. Accomplishing goals, especially those that require effort and perseverance, boosts confidence and belief in one’s abilities. This positive self-perception is crucial for overall well-being and resilience.

Third, achievement fosters positive emotions such as pride, joy, and satisfaction. These emotions are integral to the PERMA model’s emphasis on positive emotion. Celebrating successes, no matter how small, contributes to a positive outlook and emotional well-being.

Challenges and Overcoming Obstacles

The path to achievement is not always smooth. Individuals often encounter obstacles, setbacks, and failures along the way. However, these challenges can also be opportunities for growth and learning. We don’t win or lose; we win or learn. And, it’s necessary to fail to achieve excellence (just listened to an awesome book on Learned Excellence. Seligman’s concept of learned optimism is relevant here; it involves developing a positive explanatory style to interpret setbacks as temporary and specific rather than permanent and pervasive.

Resilience is key to overcoming obstacles and maintaining a trajectory of achievement. Developing coping strategies, seeking support from others, and maintaining a growth mindset can help individuals navigate challenges and continue pursuing their goals.

Conclusion

Achievement is a vital component of well-being. It involves setting and attaining meaningful goals, developing competence, and experiencing the satisfaction of accomplishment. Achievement provides a sense of purpose, enhances self-esteem, and fosters positive emotions, all of which contribute to a flourishing life. By understanding and embracing the role of achievement within the PERMA framework, individuals can cultivate a more fulfilling and thriving existence.

Achieving a greater sense of accomplishment involves setting meaningful goals, maintaining motivation, and celebrating successes. Here are some practical tips to enhance your sense of accomplishment: 

“It’s never the right time, but right now is usually the best time.” – James Clear

 

1. Set Clear and Achievable Goals

  • Define SMART Goals: Ensure your goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Clear goals provide direction and make it easier to track progress.
  • Break Down Larger Goals: Divide bigger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes them less overwhelming and allows for incremental progress and frequent achievements.

2. Prioritize and Plan

  • Create a To-Do List: List tasks in order of priority. Tackling high-priority tasks first can lead to a greater sense of accomplishment.
  • Use Time Management Techniques: Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique or time blocking can help maintain focus and productivity.

3. Maintain Motivation

  • Identify Your “Why”: Understanding the underlying reasons behind your goals can keep you motivated. Reflect on how achieving these goals will positively impact your life.
  • Visualize Success: Regularly visualize the successful completion of your goals. This can enhance motivation and make the goals feel more attainable.

4. Track Progress

  • Keep a Journal: Documenting your progress can provide a tangible record of your achievements and reflect on how far you’ve come.
  • Use Progress Indicators: Tools like charts, graphs, or apps can help visualize your progress and keep you motivated.

5. Celebrate Small Wins

  • Acknowledge Achievements: Regularly celebrate small victories along the way. This can boost morale and provide a continuous sense of accomplishment.
  • Reward Yourself: Give yourself rewards for reaching milestones. Rewards can be anything that you find enjoyable and motivating.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

  • Embrace Challenges: View challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles. A growth mindset helps you learn from setbacks and persist in the face of difficulties.
  • Learn from Failures: Analyze setbacks and failures to understand what went wrong and how you can improve. This approach turns failures into valuable learning experiences.

7. Seek Feedback and Support

  • Get Feedback: Regular feedback from peers, mentors, or coaches can provide valuable insights and help you stay on track.
  • Build a Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive and positive individuals who encourage and motivate you.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

  • Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and faces setbacks.
  • Avoid Perfectionism: Understand that perfection is unattainable. Aim for progress, not perfection, and appreciate the effort you put in.

9. Stay Organized

  • Create a System: Develop an organizational system that works for you, whether it’s digital tools, planners, or bullet journals.
  • Declutter Your Environment: A clean and organized workspace can enhance focus and productivity.

10. Maintain a Healthy Work-Life Balance

  • Take Breaks: Regular breaks prevent burnout and maintain productivity. Ensure you have time for rest and relaxation.
  • Engage in Hobbies: Pursuing hobbies and activities you enjoy can provide a sense of accomplishment outside of work or primary goals.

11. Reflect and Adjust

  • Regular Reflection: Take time to reflect on your progress, what’s working, and what’s not. Adjust your goals and strategies as needed.
  • Set New Goals: Once you achieve a goal, set new ones to continue the cycle of accomplishment and growth.

12. Focus on Intrinsic Motivation

  • Align with Values: Pursue goals that are meaningful and aligned with your values and interests. Intrinsically motivated goals are more fulfilling and sustainable.
  • Find Joy in the Process: Enjoy the journey and the process of working towards your goals, not just the end result.

By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate a greater sense of accomplishment and enhance your overall well-being. Remember, achievement is a continuous process, and celebrating each step forward is crucial for maintaining motivation and satisfaction.

Imagine achieving more – we can help you and your team get more! To learn more, schedule a call with us: 

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A STRATEGIC DEBRIEF

How Leaders May Model a Purposeful Existence

How Leaders May Model a Purposeful Existence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

 

Our world is brimming with distractions, so finding meaning and purpose in life may seem like a daunting task. Yet, it is an essential pursuit, one that can lead to a more fulfilling and content existence. Whether it’s through personal growth, relationships, career, or contributing to the community, there are countless avenues to explore in the quest for a more purposeful life. Finding more purpose leads to higher levels of self-actualization, which is the ultimate need of human beings – to unlock one’s greatest potential and creativity. Doing so is living a purposeful life and for leaders, there are a few layers to accommodate.

This month, we explore the penultimate element from Martin Seligman’s PERMA model. In previous months we unpacked Positive emotions, Engagement, and Relationships. Now let’s dive into Meaning and living a purposeful existence. 


“Who You Are is More Important than What You Do”

– Dr. Leroy Olson, a (favorite) leadership professor at Temple University back in 1994

 

Understanding the Importance of Purpose

At its core, a sense of purpose gives our lives meaning. It provides direction, motivation, and a reason to get out of bed every morning. When we lack purpose, life can feel aimless and empty, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and even depression.

Psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived the horrors of the Holocaust, famously wrote, “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” Frankl believed that even in the most challenging of circumstances, finding meaning could help individuals endure and overcome almost any hardship.

Discovering Your Passions and Values

One of the first steps in finding more meaning in life is identifying your passions and values. What activities make you feel most alive? What causes are you deeply passionate about? Reflecting on these questions can help you uncover what truly matters to you.

Take the time to explore different activities and experiences. Try new things, whether it’s learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause you believe in, or traveling to a new destination. Pay attention to how these experiences make you feel and whether they align with your values. Not sure of your core values? There are some great exercises and inventories to help you understand your core values. One of the greatest mismatches of employees in organizations is when core values do not align with organizational values, so it’s worth a little time to gain clarity in this area; we can help with this if you’re stuck.

Cultivating Meaningful Relationships

Relationships play a significant role in our lives and can greatly contribute to our sense of purpose. Yes, there is some crossover from last month’s plunge into nurturing authentic relationships! Remember, we are social creatures. Cultivating meaningful connections with friends, family, and even colleagues can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Invest time and energy into building and maintaining relationships. Make an effort to connect with others on a deeper level, engage in meaningful conversations, and offer your support when needed. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, and don’t hesitate to distance yourself from those who drain your energy or bring negativity into your life. Boundaries, like values, are so important to understand and incorporate.

Finding Purpose in Your Work

For many people, finding purpose in their careers is essential for a fulfilling life. While not everyone has the luxury of pursuing their passion as a full-time job, finding meaning in your work is still possible. If you’re not familiar with the parable of the three stone-cutters, here’s a 2 minute listen to share with your team members, it’s a good one!: CLICK HERE FOR QUICK INSPIRING PARABLE

Consider how your skills and talents can be used to make a positive impact in your workplace or community. Whether it’s through helping others, solving complex problems, or creating something of value, finding purpose in your work can provide a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Contributing to Something Greater Than Yourself

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to find meaning in life is by contributing to something greater than yourself. Whether it’s through volunteering, activism, or simply being kind to others, finding ways to make a positive impact in the world can give your life greater meaning and purpose.

Take the time to identify causes that are important to you and find ways to get involved. Whether it’s volunteering at a local shelter, raising awareness for a particular issue, or donating to a charitable organization, even small actions can make a significant difference.

The Three Layers Leaders Need to Accommodate

Not surprisingly, leaders have an even greater responsibility to help their teams find meaning and purpose. We adhere to the model recommended through Positive Intelligenceä which promotes “Triple Purpose” and is one of the four pillars of high-performing teams.

Definition of Triple Purpose – when a Leader inspires others to work towards their own self-actualization, helps teammates to do the same and positively impacts others.

And here’s a table that helps to show when triple purpose is low contrasted to when it is high. The parable of the stone-cutter again and when achieving triple purpose what a way to create profound company culture!

Triple Purpose

Here are a couple of quick tricks leaders may use to foster more meaning in activities and interactions:

  1. Set a positive intention prior. Being intentional to “begin with the end in mind” helps to manifest what is desired in terms of deliverables.
  2. An expansion of setting intentions is to empower team members to share their intentions first, then for leader to share intentions and then together to establish a collective intention or agreement. This is a powerful way to learn more about your team members and collaborate.

Finding more meaning and purpose in life is an ongoing journey, one that requires self-reflection, exploration, and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone. By identifying your passions, cultivating meaningful relationships, finding purpose in your work, and contributing to something greater than yourself, you can create a more fulfilling and purposeful existence. And the trinity in creating “Triple Purpose” on teams will help build higher performance with sustained well-being. Life is what you make of it, so let’s make it meaningful! 

Interested in how you may embrace PERMA to amplify your well-being and performance? We have a special 14-session package designed for leaders at all levels. What we cover in these sessions may be applied at work and home, so there’s double the ROI! Topics we’ll cover and implement include forgiveness, gratitude, savoring, building optimism, leveraging strengths and much more. Our flagship Positive Intelligence program is also included and for a limited time, this package deal is available for $4995 per person until we fill available openings (a savings of more than $2000). 

Imagine having more meaning in your life and with your team – we can help you create more! To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Building Authentic Leadership to Cultivate Healthier Relationships

Building Authentic Leadership to Cultivate Healthier Relationships

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

In the pursuit of happiness and well-being, relationships play a pivotal role. Renowned psychologist Martin Seligman introduced the PERMA model, which identifies five essential elements for flourishing: Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. In the last three months, we gave an overview of the model and more deeply explored the P and E of the model. Now we plunge into ‘Relationships,’ of which we all have many, and therefore there’s lots of opportunity for messiness AND maximizing.

Beginning with the end in mind, cultivating meaningful connections is a crucial aspect of well-being because human beings are inherently social creatures, and we need one another to thrive. Strong social bonds provide emotional support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. And well-being impacts performance, so we now have a really good reason to focus on doing whatever is in our power to create and sustain healthy relationships! Investing time in relationships, both at work and in our personal lives, contributes not only to our mental health but also enhances our overall life satisfaction. After all, the joy of shared experiences and accomplishments is unparalleled.

A key theme in cultivating relationships revolves around authenticity. This is one area where leadership gets tricky because there’s no cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all all approach; what works for one leader might not apply for another. But there are some essential ingredients to being authentic and creating a signature style that is both genuine and impactful. Here’s how to build your authentic leadership brand: 

“It’s no longer about what our leaders are doing, it’s about who they are being”
Brandon Hall Conference, February 2024

1. Accentuate Positive Emotions within Relationships:

Positive emotions are the building blocks of strong relationships. To amplify relationships, it’s essential to foster positivity within interactions. Authentic leaders express gratitude, show appreciation, and practice acts of kindness. Whether through a simple thank-you note or a heartfelt gesture, cultivating positivity enhances the emotional bond between individuals. By focusing on positive emotions, relationships become more resilient, nurturing, and fulfilling.

2. Engage Fully in Relationship Interactions:

Engagement refers to the state of being fully absorbed and involved in activities. Within relationships, it translates to being present and attentive during interactions. Authentic leaders prioritize quality time spent together. Put away distractions, such as phones or work-related thoughts, and engage in meaningful conversations. Active listening, empathy, and genuine interest in the other person’s experiences foster deeper connections. By engaging fully in relationship interactions, bonds strengthen, and mutual understanding deepens.

3. Nurture Meaningful Connections:

Meaningful relationships provide a sense of purpose and belonging. Authentic leaders focus on nurturing connections that hold significance. This involves investing time and effort in building and maintaining meaningful relationships. Identify shared values, interests, and goals, and explore ways to collaborate and support each other’s aspirations. By fostering meaningful connections, relationships become sources of inspiration, support, and fulfillment.

4. Find Purpose and Accomplishment Together:

Shared goals and accomplishments are integral in cultivating relationships. Within the PERMA model, accomplishment refers to the pursuit of achievement and mastery. Authentic leaders identify common goals or projects that both parties can work towards together. Whether it’s tag-teaming a project, attending an event together, or supporting each other’s personal endeavors, shared experiences create a sense of unity and collaboration. Celebrate milestones and achievements together, reinforcing the bond and sense of accomplishment within the relationship.

5. Prioritize Relationship Building:

Amplifying relationships requires intentional effort and prioritization. In the craziness of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the importance of nurturing connections. However, investing time and energy into relationship building yields long-term benefits for well-being and happiness. Authentic leaders prioritize and schedule regular check-ins, outings, or activities to strengthen the bond with important people in their lives. Make a conscious effort to communicate openly, resolve conflicts constructively, and show appreciation for each other’s presence. By prioritizing relationship building, individuals can cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections that contribute to overall happiness and fulfillment.

6. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation:

Gratitude is a powerful tool for amplifying relationships. Expressing gratitude towards colleagues and loved ones strengthens the emotional bond and fosters a sense of appreciation. Authentic leaders take time to acknowledge the positive qualities and contributions of those around them. Whether through verbal expressions of gratitude, small gestures of kindness, or thoughtful acts of service, practicing gratitude cultivates a culture of appreciation within relationships. By acknowledging and valuing each other’s presence, relationships thrive and flourish.

7. Grow Empathy and Understanding:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Within relationships, empathy fosters compassion, connection, and mutual support. Authentic leaders cultivate empathy by actively seeking to understand the perspectives and experiences of others. They practice active listening, validate emotions, and offer support and encouragement when needed. By fostering empathy and understanding, relationships become more nurturing, resilient, and fulfilling.

We’re social creatures by design. Relationships are fundamental to human well-being happiness, and performance. By leveraging insights from Martin Seligman’s PERMA model, leaders can amplify their relationships and cultivate deeper connections. By focusing on positivity, engagement, meaningfulness, accomplishment, prioritization, gratitude, and empathy, relationships thrive and flourish, contributing to overall happiness and impact in life. And we are all leaders within our sphere of influence! As we prioritize and invest in nurturing our relationships, we pave the way for a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.

Interested in how you may embrace PERMA to amplify your well-being and performance? We have a special 14-session package designed for leaders at all levels. What we cover in these sessions may be applied at work and home, so there’s double the ROI! Topics we’ll cover and implement include forgiveness, gratitude, savoring, building optimism, leveraging strengths and much more. Our flagship Positive Intelligence program is also included and for a limited time, this package deal is available for $4995 per person until we fill available openings (a savings of more than $2000). 

Imagine having a greater impact and more fulfillment – we can help you create more!

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Unlocking the Enviable Flow State to Amplify Engagement

Unlocking the Enviable Flow State to Amplify Engagement

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Continuing our deeper dive into Martin Seligman’s ‘PERMA’ model, last month we unpacked generating more positive emotions, the “P” in the model. This month, we explore engagement, the “E” in Seligman’s model and striving towards more experiences in the enviable state of Flow.

Engagement involves immersing ourselves in activities that captivate our attention and align with our skills. This state of flow, as renowned psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes, occurs when we are fully absorbed in a challenging and rewarding task. By identifying our strengths and leveraging them in our professional and personal pursuits, we can achieve a sense of mastery that propels us toward peak performance and fulfillment. It’s about losing track of time because we’re so engrossed in what we’re doing – a sure sign that we’re in the zone.

In the pursuit of productivity, creativity, and fulfillment, many seek the elusive state of flow—a mental state where one is fully immersed and focused in an activity, experiencing a sense of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment. Csikszentmihalyi describes flow as “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”

Meaningful engagement to experience more Flow depends not only on what we do but how we do it because we, as human beings, have a limited bandwidth for attention. Therefore, what we pay attention to during waking hours is an important factor in how we experience our time and quality of life.

Here’s how to unlock the flow state and harness its benefits:

First, identify activities that match your skills and challenge level. According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow occurs when the challenges of a task are perfectly matched with one’s skills, neither too easy nor too difficult. Engage in activities that push your abilities just beyond their current limits, providing a sense of achievable challenge.

Second, focus your attention fully on the task at hand. Flow arises when distractions fade away, and concentration becomes laser-sharp. Csikszentmihalyi notes that during flow, “The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz.” Cultivate mindfulness and eliminate interruptions to maintain deep immersion in your chosen activity.

Also, cultivate clear goals and immediate feedback mechanisms. Csikszentmihalyi highlights the importance of clear objectives and instant feedback to maintain flow. Define specific, achievable goals for your task and establish ways to monitor your progress in real time, allowing for continuous adjustments and improvements.

Finally, cultivate a mindset of enjoyment and intrinsic motivation. Flow is characterized by a deep sense of enjoyment and intrinsic satisfaction derived from the activity itself, rather than external rewards. Approach your chosen tasks with curiosity, passion, and a genuine interest in the process, rather than focusing solely on outcomes.

Although these steps can get you and your team members started, there’s no substitute for working with a strategic accountability partner. Doing so will open up new opportunities like utilizing assessments to determine skills and strengths, incorporating mindfulness activities best done through building a foundation in positive intelligence, and establishing realistic goals aligned with strategic steps. Journaling in this instance, though helpful in so many other ways to build positive and emotional intelligence is not as effective to enhance meaningful engagement because it doesn’t focus on the present moment; it is instead retrospective and relies on memory. So, we recommend a technique called the Experience Sampling Method (ESM). The ESM method requires recording responses several times per day at random intervals. Setting a timer can be a helpful way to schedule these moments to intentionally record responses. For even greater impact, partnering with a strategic accountability partner will help to explore your responses and determine the next action steps. Use the ESM with the following inquiries:

  1. At this moment, what are you doing?
  2. With whom are you doing the activity or are you alone?
  3. How happy are you on a scale of 0 to 10?
  4. How much skill is required for this activity? (none, some, moderate, a lot)
  5. Describe your level of motivation as you engage in this activity (nothing else to do, required to do it, know it needs to be done, want to do it)
  6. How challenged do you feel by the activity on a scale from 0 to 10?
  7. How much are you concentrating on what you are doing on a scale of 0 to 10? 

“It’s no longer about what our leaders are doing, it’s about who they are being” – Brandon Hall Conference, February 2024

 How content are you with your level of “being?”

Record your results over a few weeks to compare patterns. The results can be eye-opening, even shocking. Most people experience the highest level of engagement when they are involved in activities that lead to personal growth and social synergy, contributing to the greater good. It’s important to understand the percentage of time spent in different categories of activities and with whom. Which activities lead you into Flow, if any? How often does a state of Flow occur for you in a typical week? Remember that focus is important and goals help command attention. Therefore, FLOW, a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi may be described as:

  • Feeling like effortless action
  • Involving goals that demand specific responses and where clear, relevant feedback is available, involving activities that require high levels of skill and concentration
  • Generating a “paradox of control” – feeling sometimes nearly on the edge of being out of control and feeling exhilarated at the completion of a task because one was able to maintain control over one’s movement or the environment.
  • Losing self-consciousness – that is NOT worrying about what others think

Examples of Flow can be found in sports such as sailing, kayaking, crew (check out the book or movie “Boys in the Boat” as a great example) and rock climbing where the demand for skillfulness is high and the feedback is immediate. Surgery is a great example of being in a flow state and many find flow while gardening, creating art, weaving or as I do when performing music. 

By aligning challenges with skills, maintaining focus, setting clear goals, and fostering intrinsic motivation, you can increase the likelihood of experiencing the state of flow in your daily life. Embrace the flow state as a pathway to heightened productivity, creativity, and personal fulfillment. Flow = More meaningful engagement! 

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

How to Beat the Funk: Promoting Positivity for You and Your Team

How to Beat the Funk: Promoting Positivity for You and Your Team

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Last month we focused on PERMA, the evidence-based model developed by Dr. Martin Seligman that facilitates higher performance with sustained well-being. This month let’s dive a bit deeper and focus on positive emotion, the “P” in the PERMA model. First of all, let’s begin with why positive emotions matter and a reminder to strive for continual flexing of this mental muscle. Here are four compelling reasons:

1. Get more done in less time. When mood is elevated, it’s a major boost to productivity. You’ve probably noticed when you’re experiencing positive emotions, how it helps attend to staying on task. 

2. Think in a more open-minded, broader way. Need to collaborate more? Experiencing positive emotions helps ramp up the sage strength of curiosity, ever the conduit of exploring more beyond what one already knows. Ah if we had more of this in our world, imagine all the great collaboration and peace that could be forged.  

3. Think in a more flexible and integrated way. Want to increase the chance that solutions will be more creative? How about helping your team to be higher-functioning? Elevating the mood to experience positive emotions promotes the sage strengths of innovation, which is what all teams and organizations need right now to grow and thrive during the most volatile times ever.

4. Expand your repertoire and influence. Experiencing positive emotions helps people think in ways that build their repertoire, that is promoting action that is likely to be more thoughtful, clear, creative, and perhaps even leading to more win-win outcomes. When influence expands, so does impact. 

Did you know that there are fewer positive emotions than negative ones? Just like it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, there are fewer positive emotions to practice, so why not make life a little simpler and better – go for practicing and mastering those emotions that position you for greater success and well-being?  

Certainly, negative emotions play a crucial role deeply rooted in survival, typically eliciting a quick physical response to avoid danger. However, most threats demand higher cognitive functioning. Consequently, the survival part of the brain along with its accompanying physical responses such as fight or flight, will not serve creative, innovative thinking in the conference room. The only way to thrive is to harness the power of positive emotions.

So how do we experience more positive emotion?

As in building any skill, consider building your optimism muscle, practice is what primes the positive emotion pump. And the more practice that is employed, the more natural and consistently, you will experience positive emotions. The cool thing about practice and priming is how it invites even more positivity into your world; it’s a contagion effect.  

Here are four simple ways to incorporate more positivity.

1. Schedule positive and pleasant experiences on a regular basis, it could be with family, friends, or colleagues.

2. Read or watch short videos that are inspiring and positive

3. Keep pictures handy that inspire and create positive emotions in the moment. They can be pics of loved ones, people who inspire you or something else that inspires you

4. Generate positive words or mantras. One of my favorite phrases when I’m feeling uncertain or overwhelmed is “It’ll work out” (and it usually does!)

These quick tips are tactical and certainly not meant to replace deeper reflection or more thoughtful appraisal. Positive emotions are fleeting and yet they serve in a way that helps us shift to a more creative, competent, strength-based state of mind to get out of a funk and into a more collaborative, creative, big-picture, get-it-done and be happier kinda way.

For an even deeper, more impactful dive to infuse more positivity into your world in a strategic plan-inspired fashion, consider our 14-session package for you and your team. It includes our Positive Intelligence® program, as well as additional goodies on savoring, forgiveness, gratitude, satisficers vs maximizers and much more.   

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Unleashing PERMA for Peak Performance and Sustained Well-Being

Unleashing PERMA for Peak Performance and Sustained Well-Being

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

In the hustle-bustle of our daily lives, achieving a harmonious balance between professional success and personal well-being can often feel like an elusive goal. We’re constantly searching for that magic formula that not only boosts our performance at work but also nurtures our overall happiness and fulfillment. Enter PERMA – an acronym coined by Seligman, representing five essential elements that contribute to a flourishing life. Let’s unpack how embracing PERMA can serve as a compass for navigating the journey toward peak performance and sustainable well-being. 

 “Focusing on performance alone and not well-being negatively impacts performance in the long run. Similar to cars and heeding our mind-body connection, peak performance is made possible and longer-lasting when attention is devoted to both well-being and performance. There’s an inextricable link between performance and well-being. This is our “why” at Metamorphosis Coaching, to focus on growing both for optimal impact.”  – Dr. Doni 

Positive Emotions (P): Elevate Your Mood

The first element of PERMA, Positive Emotions, emphasizes the importance of cultivating joy, gratitude, and other uplifting feelings in our daily lives. By consciously seeking out and appreciating positive experiences, we can enhance our overall mood and build a reservoir of emotional well-being. Whether it’s relishing a beautiful sunset, expressing gratitude for small victories, or savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, infusing positivity into our routine can lay the foundation for a more fulfilling life.

Engagement (E): Find Your Flow

Engagement involves immersing ourselves in activities that captivate our attention and align with our skills. This state of flow, as psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes it, occurs when we are fully absorbed in a challenging and rewarding task. By identifying our strengths and leveraging them in our professional and personal pursuits, we can achieve a sense of mastery that propels us toward peak performance and fulfillment. It’s about losing track of time because we’re so engrossed in what we’re doing – a sure sign that we’re in the zone.

Relationships (R): Cultivate Meaningful Connections

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and nurturing positive relationships is a crucial aspect of well-being. The ‘R’ in PERMA underscores the significance of building and maintaining meaningful connections with others. Strong social bonds provide emotional support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Investing time in relationships, both at work and in our personal lives, contributes not only to our mental health but also enhances our overall life satisfaction. After all, the joy of shared experiences and accomplishments is unparalleled.

Meaning (M): Discover Your Purpose

Leading a meaningful life involves aligning our actions with a greater purpose or cause. It’s about finding significance beyond the mundane tasks and daily grind. By identifying our values and setting goals that resonate with our inner beliefs, we infuse our lives with a sense of direction and purpose. Whether it’s contributing to a cause we’re passionate about or pursuing a career that aligns with our values, the ‘M’ in PERMA encourages us to seek meaning in our endeavors, fostering a deeper connection with our work and lives.

Accomplishment (A): Celebrate Your Achievements

The pursuit of goals and the sense of accomplishment they bring are integral to a flourishing life. Acknowledging our achievements, both big and small, fuels our motivation and self-esteem. The ‘A’ in PERMA prompts us to set realistic goals, break them down into manageable steps, and celebrate our progress along the way. By recognizing our accomplishments, we not only boost our confidence but also create a positive feedback loop that propels us toward future success.

Overall, PERMA serves as a holistic framework for enhancing performance and well-being. By consciously incorporating Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment into our daily lives, we can create a positive spiral that fosters resilience, satisfaction, and a sense of fulfillment. As we navigate the intricate dance between work and personal life, embracing the PERMA model can guide us towards a more balanced, purposeful, and ultimately, flourishing existence. 

Interested in how you may embrace PERMA to amplify your well-being and performance? We have a special 14-session package designed for leaders at all levels. What we cover in these sessions may be applied at work and home, so there’s double the ROI! Topics we’ll cover and implement include forgiveness, gratitude, savoring, building optimism, leveraging strengths and much more.  

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Systems Expedite Success in 2024

Systems Expedite Success in 2024

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Happy New Year and may your 2024 be off to a magnificent start! One way you may get your organization to the next level is through the acquisition of a system to attract star performers. We call this “Hire Right the First Time©” and are excited to roll out a new system to help organizations enhance their hiring and selection processes. Our “why” for offering this service is four-fold:

  1. To help organizations hire high-performing employees
  2. Streamline the hiring process
  3. Reduce turnover
  4. Save money

“Systems are for those who care about winning repeatedly” – James Clear 

“Hire Right the First Time” consists of three steps: an audit of your current system, creating or updating competencies, and using assessments to determine cultural fit and more. For more information on our comprehensive system DOWNLOAD OUR BROCHURE HERE.

Last month we talked about “Knowing Thyself” as the first step every leader must take to be effective. One strategy to this end is through the use of assessments to reveal the big picture of how leaders think, feel and behave. Many organizations use one or two assessments, but few rarely use a cluster to reveal how leaders think, feel, and are motivated to do what they do.

One step of “Hire Right the First Time” includes using three different assessments, powered by Hogan Assessment insights. This trinity of insights reveals a candidate’s motives, values, preferences, personality, strengths, and risks/dark tendencies. For a limited time, we are offering this trio of assessments at a special promotional price. 

To learn more, schedule a call with us. 

Ten Reasons Consistent Celebrating is Necessary for Peak Performance

Ten Reasons Consistent Celebrating is Necessary for Peak Performance

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Celebrating serves many important purposes at work and in life, and its significance can be seen in different aspects including social, psychological, and cultural dimensions. This month, when there are many gatherings and social events, from office holiday parties to family gatherings, there’s no better time to practice the art of celebrating. Feeling like celebrating is just a ‘nice to have’ layer in your life? Here are several reasons to rethink and reframe celebrating as a ‘must have’ practice:

  1. Positive Reinforcement: Celebrations often mark achievements, milestones, or positive events. Recognizing and celebrating these moments provide positive reinforcement, motivating individuals or groups to continue their efforts and maintain a positive outlook. As we often share in client sessions, practicing optimism by celebrating helps to invite more positivity. It’s one of the basic laws of the universe, we attract what we give.
  2. Social Bonding: Celebrations bring people together, fostering a sense of community and strengthening social bonds. Whether it’s a family gathering, a cultural festival, or a national holiday, celebrations provide opportunities for people to connect, share experiences, and build relationships.
  3. Cultural Identity: Many celebrations are deeply rooted in cultural traditions and customs. Participating in these events helps individuals connect with their cultural identity, preserving and passing on important traditions to future generations.
  4. Emotional Well-Being: Celebrations contribute to emotional well-being by creating moments of joy, happiness, and shared positive experiences. These events provide a break from routine and can serve as a source of stress relief and mental rejuvenation.
  5. Reflection & Gratitude: Celebrations often prompt reflection on achievements, personal growth, and the positive aspects of life. This reflective process can lead to feelings of gratitude, helping individuals appreciate what they have and fostering a more optimistic mindset. To live a life that is full of celebrations, it’s necessary to celebrate!
  6. Marking Transitions: Celebrations often accompany significant life transitions, such as birthdays, weddings, graduations, and retirements. These events help individuals and communities acknowledge and navigate major life changes, providing closure to one phase and welcoming the next.
  7. Cultural Exchange: Celebrations can provide opportunities for cultural exchange, allowing people to learn about and appreciate different customs, traditions, and perspectives. This fosters mutual understanding and respect among diverse groups.
  8. Motivation & Inspiration: Celebrating achievements, both big and small, can inspire individuals to set new goals and strive for further success. It reinforces the idea that hard work and effort are rewarded and encourages a positive and proactive mindset.
  9. Ritual & Routine: Celebrations often follow a set of rituals and traditions, providing a sense of structure and continuity in people’s lives. These rituals can be comforting and help create a sense of order and predictability.
  10. It Adds Levity to our Otherwise ‘Heavy’ Lives: With change happening more frequently than most can keep pace with, and worldwide events that can add more stress, even when it feels unwelcome, celebrating, can help us to get out of a funk. We even go so far as to encourage our clients to embrace and celebrate failures and reframe them as ways to learn, re-do and become more resilient.

Celebrating plays a crucial role by promoting social connections, fostering positive emotions, preserving cultural identity, and providing moments of reflection and inspiration. It contributes to the overall well-being and cohesion of individuals, teams and communities. December is a great month to ramp up celebrating and practice this one habit of optimism.  Remember to celebrate often and consider journaling daily celebrations for a dramatic shift toward more joy.

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

A First Step Leaders Must Do to Effectively Lead

A First Step Leaders Must Do to Effectively Lead!

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

What happens when inspiration collides with affirmation? Short answer… embrace the opportunity and instinct and act!

As we prepare to roll out a new Hiring and Selection service in early 2024, I was inspired to revisit why it’s important to “Lead Yourself First©” to effectively lead others and drive desired results. Then I attended a 2-day conference and much of this time for developing CEO mindsets was devoted to knowing thyself to grow into a more powerful business owner. A couple of weeks later, a conversation with a colleague took me on a deeper dive into “Know Thyself” to effectively lead others. And then today, in a meeting with a prospective client, the concept of leading yourself to lead others came up again.

Coincidence? No, because it’s true, the first step to being an effective leader, whether you’re the CEO or just emerging into leadership, is to know yourself. When you understand yourself, you can effectively manage and lead yourself. This drives inspiration. And in order to influence for impact, a leader must inspire. We call this “Lead Yourself First©” and it’s all about mastery of personal leadership. Echoing what I shared earlier on a call with a prospective client, performance and well-being are not mutually exclusive. You can only give your best when you are your best and part of that is understanding what makes you tick.

In our soon-to-be-revealed Hiring and Selection Service, assessments are used to glean as much information as possible to determine the right fit for a candidate within an organization. Assessments are the best way to gather this wealth of data. More to come soon on the program we’ll offer and the assessments to gather how a person thinks, feels and is motivated to perform [in the workplace].

By understanding how you think, feel, and are motivated to act, you can predict and regulate the following areas:

1. Values – are the alpha and omega of aligning with your decisions and what motivates you to act. As a leader, it’s critical to understand your core values. When values are not aligned, it is a recipe for conflict, whether it is internal within your mind or external with those in your sphere of influence.

2. Strengths – the acid test of strength is something that is done successfully, repeatedly and happily (the latter because it upholds a value or two in some way and an activity is more likely to be successfully repeated when it is valued and enjoyed). 

3. Triggers/Saboteurs – we all have them and when you can name them, you can tame them. This is where our Positive Intelligence work is implicated. We must tame our saboteurs so they don’t rob us of our performance potential and sustained well-being.

4. Limitations – we all have these as well. And knowing where we’re at risk is crucial. Then it’s helpful to either delegate or outsource so time and money are not wasted.

5. Motivators and Preferences – to work within your genius zone, it’s necessary to understand what drives you and how you prefer to operate. From how you energize, to your communication preferences to how you make decisions and problem-solve, it’s essential to know your style and what motivates you.

There are many ways we can help you Lead Yourself First to Effectively Lead Others. From assessments to experiencing our transformational Positive Intelligence™ program to using our “Lead Yourself First©” interactive card deck, there’s an option for you and your team!

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

It’s OK to NOT be OK – and there’s an Inc. 5000 acclaimed solution to the rescue!

It’s OK to NOT be OK – and there’s an Inc. 5000 acclaimed solution to the rescue!

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

As I sit here pondering thoughts for the kickoff to the last quarter of the year, I cannot help but realize my stress level is a bit higher than it was last month. I’m confident in my self-awareness that it’s because we’re in peak hurricane season here in Southwest Florida, there’s a monster Category 5 storm swirling around in the Atlantic and I and so many in my community are traumatized and have PTSD from Hurricane Ian last year, that wreaked havoc in our paradise. One year later, street signs and business signs are still missing, many traffic signals are also missing, homes have not been renovated or rebuilt, our barrier islands are dramatically changed, and those who flooded like my family, are NERVOUS and a bit ANXIOUS!  

And then the rest of our nation is approaching some frenzy with last quarter revenue goals, the holidays are approaching adding another layer of things to do, and many of the organizations we work with continue to navigate an evolving environment whether they are dipping their toes in the AI pool (stay tuned for an upcoming Executive Leadership Forum on this topic), or striving to settle into normal operations in a hybrid or fully-remote workforce.

How You Show Up for Yourself is How You Show Up for Others

To lead by example, it is critical to show up cheerfully and confidently if you are to inspire. This is one practice from our ‘Lead Yourself First’ system. So, let’s squash the gloom and doom because if and when you are living in the moment, unless that proverbial shark is literally biting you in the butt, it is very difficult to be ‘stressed’. There’s a powerful Asian Proverb I’ve always admired that captures this essence:

Those who live in the past are depressed. Those who live in the future are anxious. Those who live in the present are at peace.

And yet it’s difficult because living in the moment is an art contingent upon a foundation backed by science and built by practice.  

If you’ve been following us for even a few months, you’re probably a little familiar with Positive Intelligence® or PQ for short. PQ is a mental operating system with research grounded in four different fields of science, including neuroscience – with evidence from fMRIs showing the development of new neural pathways when the Mental OS is followed and practiced. I and all of my team are Certified PQ coaches and whenever we begin with a new client, we ‘require’ a foundation in PQ because we know the power it has to clear out the cobwebs, dramatically reduce stress and positively impact performance and relationships. Much of the practice is about disrupting our sabotaging brain bullies that can turn our mind into our worst enemy, crippling performance and productivity, inflicting damage upon our important relationships with others and overall, putting a major dent in happiness and well-being.

But don’t just take my word for it, we are proud to announce that Positive Intelligence® has made the prestigious Inc. 5000 list for 2023, appearing as number 567 on the list. Woohoo! This explosive growth is a testament to the power and transformational potential that PQ affords. Not to say I told you so, though I recall a few months ago how I mentioned PQ is sweeping the globe and will soon be a household and organizational word. To see the full list of other Inc 5000 organizations CLICK HERE.

Using factor analysis to go to the root cause, PQ has radically simplified how we increase our performance and well-being by growing 3 core mental muscles. And to give you an idea of how we grow one of them, the self-command muscle, here’s one of a hundred or so exercises that can help to disrupt the saboteurs that can compromise our strengths and overtake our lives.

5-4-3-2-1 Focus

Name/label:

five things you can see

four things you can hear

three things you can touch

two things you can smell

one thing you can taste

Preparing items for touch, smell and taste in advance can be beneficial to avoid any last-minute scrambling during the meditation. The point is to focus deeply on each physical sensation, disrupt negative mind chatter or triggers, and drop back down into your body so you can then resume activities on a more grounded level and access the sage part of your brain that resides in your pre-frontal cortex (not the survival-based limbic system).  

One variation on this exercise can be to pick a color, like green, which is great if you’re doing this exercise while outdoors, and name all the things in your environment that are the color green. There can be many things to listen to outdoors. Smell might take a little effort so be intentional about that, as well as for taste. And on the mention of intentionality, this, along with some discipline are what create new habits to build skills and live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. So are you curious?

For organizations that have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), we have a white paper to share on how PQ can supplement your current offerings and help employees in a very proactive way. The World Health Organization has revealed that 12 billion work days are lost globally to depression and anxiety, costing 1 trillion dollars per year in lost productivity. Being proactive by building mental fitness can help your employees in a way with less stigma than many mental health remedies while removing stigma and saving your organization substantially in lost revenue.

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Averting Organizational Crisis With Emotional Intelligence

Averting Organizational Crisis with Emotional Intelligence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

September 2023

Just when EI development was flourishing, with organizations prioritizing the development of essential skills for their leaders and teams, the pandemic hit and created a backward slide. The ripple effect is multifaceted and includes negative impacts on employee engagement and well-being and fueled organizational attrition.

Organizations are now struggling to retain and attract top talent, and it’s commonplace for industries like healthcare and hospitality to pay higher wages to fill their gaps. However, there are more opportunities beyond compensation, as per McKinsey & Company’s Great Attrition/Great Attraction survey from April 2021 to April 2022, which identified twelve reasons for employee turnover. We assert that emotional intelligence deficiencies are at least indirectly related to each of the twelve reasons employees quit their organizations.

Let’s connect some dots. Listen to the video below for highlights and read the full article in Emotional Intelligence Magazine. CLICK HERE FOR OUR ARTICLE IN EI MAGAZINE

When was the last time you had your Leadership Team take an Assessment to help you measure your current competencies?

Schedule your complimentary strategy session here to explore possibilities for your Leaders and their teams: 

Eliminating Toxicity for Greater Self-Actualization

Eliminating Toxicity for Greater Self-Actualization

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

July/August 2023

Many times, clients or prospective clients will show up for a session and express that they’re not feeling fulfilled in their work or are stuck trying to determine next steps. These next steps could be pursuing another role with a different organization, positioning for a promotion within their current organization, or we’ve even heard prospective clients ask for clarity on what they call a “side hustle.” With this particular topic, we’ve found it useful to apply a combination of curiosity and the sage power of navigate to get to the heart of what matters most. Beginning with the end in mind, doing a bit of reverse engineering can be powerful to connect purpose and vision for a client, as this will ultimately lead to higher levels of the emotional intelligence skill of self-actualization. Self-actualization is becoming and living the greatest and truest version of yourself so you are deeply fulfilled and living a purposeful life.

We often uncover that there are three areas to explore, some of which can take some time to tease out. These three areas, in combination with truly understanding what you are tolerating, can help to gain clarity. When we peel back the layers of the proverbial onion, we discover that clients who are stuck or feel unfulfilled are tolerating toxicity in some fashion. The following quote was the inspiration for this blog’s topic:

“I like my products like I like my people: non-toxic”
Source unknown

And…

“You get what you tolerate”
– Henry Cloud

Let’s address the three most common areas we examine to help clients get ‘unstuck’ and live a more purposeful, fulfilled life. We thought this is a timely topic for the summer months as many travel and take a little time to reflect on what matters most.

Values – As all of our clients are familiar with, we incorporate clarity of core values into every engagement, whether it is an executive or team engagement. For our executive clients, values are important because they represent who we are. When we’re not living our values or stifling those that are most important, the result is misalignment which can lead to frustration, feeling stuck, overwhelm or burnout.  

Values serve as a compass, for individuals and organizations. When they are honored and upheld, meaningful impact is achieved, along with greater fulfillment [of mission or purpose]. 

Boundaries – are another area we often find clients struggling to maintain. Particularly for those who might have a strong Avoider or Pleaser Saboteur (from the Positive Intelligence platform we use), we uncover how boundaries are either not maintained, might be blurred or not well-established.  

It’s important to note that there are different types of boundaries to maintain and the areas we explore include boundaries that are physical, time-bound, or information-bound. Physical boundaries might be our space or environment. For those working remotely, it may be challenging to keep home life from interfering. Distractions or interruptions like dogs, temptations to do chores, deliveries, kids, and spouses can all blur the boundary needed to be as effective and efficient as possible. A favorite example of time boundaries is carving out designated times to do or not do tasks; we work a lot with leaders to respect the sacred space of weekends and evenings so they do not intrude on their employees’ precious time away from work. Employee productivity and well-being are positively correlated! And information boundaries are about what types of data/communications/etc may or may not be shared with individuals in your sphere of influence.

Energy Drains and Fillers – this is the third area we explore to learn what is lighting up or sucking the life from clients. And notice a theme here again of three things that we focus upon: people, places, things. This is an exercise we often do with clients, where we have them create a document that they can add to over time. Who are the people you love to be around who recharge your batteries and bring you more enjoyment? Who are those that drag you down or suck the life from you, perhaps so much that your recovery rate requires a lot of precious time? What are the places that lift you up and conversely, what are the places that drain you or create dread? Finally, what things or activities light you up and what are those that are life and soul-sucking?

Creating a core honesty around these three areas is difficult. Typically because there’s an opportunity to develop greater self-awareness – to understand all triggers and all associated emotions.   

There’s a lot of positive and emotional intelligence we can apply here to help you and your team have greater awareness and to show up more purposefully so you get more done, and have greater fulfillment and well-being. It all connects to performance and well-being and this results in the highest levels of self-actualization. Let’s kick those toxic tolerations to the curb, weaken the saboteurs and maximize self-actualization for you and your team.

Curious about learning how you or your team may self-actualize or perhaps would like to take our Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Don’t Do What I Did: Do THIS Instead for Greater Impact and Reduced Stress

Don’t Do What I Did: Do THIS Instead for Greater Impact and Reduced Stress

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

June 2023

The following article was published in the April 2023 edition of Emotional Intelligence Magazine and is slightly edited.  CLICK HERE TO READ ON THE EI MAGAZINE PLATFORM

We all have triggers or “hot buttons” that cause us to become agitated, worried, or angry. These triggers can vary from person to person and are often influenced by our environment. For example, being stuck in traffic can lead to road rage, while technical issues with your computer can cause heightened stress levels. Additionally, certain people in our lives can be major sources of frustration, as well as tasks that require a lot of focus and energy. 

    

Becoming aware of our emotional triggers and understanding how we react to them is essential for developing emotional intelligence. Becoming mindful of the three-step process – Awareness of the trigger, Acceptance of the trigger, and Contemplated Action – can help us to effectively manage our responses in a more emotionally intelligent manner.

Here’s a little vulnerability in a true case story and something that was a triggering event for me.

I live in Southwest Florida, and my community was devasted after Hurricane Ian made landfall on September 28, 2022. Like so many in our area, my home flooded from storm surge, had to be completely gutted down to wall studs, and required a complete interior rebuild and renovation.

One necessary item to rehab inside our home was 14 interior doors, something my husband and I thought would be simple items to purchase, especially when the ordering process went fairly smoothly inside a local Big Box store. The following morning after placing the order, I realized we were one door short, so I stopped in the same store after a difficult day and, for forty-five minutes, attempted to get assistance at the door department. I went to two other departments and asked for an associate to be paged, and although they promised to make the page, I never heard any announcement over the store’s loudspeaker. I then asked six other store associates, and not one of them was able to help me. One associate told me to go to customer service, where the line was about 30 people deep.

I felt my anger bubbling up, my body was already overheated, and I was also a bit dehydrated. After feeling overwhelmed by the ridiculously long customer service line, I returned to the door department. Finally, someone appeared behind the desk! When I approached the associate and asked for her assistance, I was thrilled when she said yes. I showed my appreciation by thanking her profusely for her help after waiting in line for 45 minutes to order one last door.

To my disappointment, she said she couldn’t order the door for me because she was “just a sales associate” and didn’t have the authority to place an order. My anger again began to build.

She told me that I would need to come back another time, but couldn’t give me a specific time frame for when would be best. She explained that the person responsible for the department might have taken a break. I asked her to check the breakroom, but she seemed reluctant. Despite my attempts at being polite and explaining that I had already waited for over 45 minutes, she did not budge, and remarked that “associates are entitled to take breaks.” That was the last straw for me, and the anger I suppressed was at a breaking point and exploded out of me.

After months of enduring extreme stress, I snapped back at the associate and said she and her associates were poorly trained and didn’t care at all about customers yet were quite good at processing payments. I continued to spout off and stormed out of the store, hollering while I made my way to the exit – not one of my finer moments.

This story gets even juicier. A few weeks later…

After receiving emails confirming the arrival of our doors, the store couldn’t locate any of them when we attempted to pick them up. Our general contractor and I visited the store multiple times to locate and collect our order, but we were unsuccessful each time. The store associates became increasingly agitated with our requests for help, often yelling at us as we inquired from one associate to the next and then to a supervisor.

The experience was utterly shocking to me. Although employees of this store were poorly trained, among other deficiencies, my response exacerbated my stress and wasted more time. In retrospect, my husband and I would have been better served by canceling the order after the initial negative experience and taking our business elsewhere. 

We all get emotionally hijacked at some point or another if we don’t intercept our emotions before they become reactions. Failure to pause in these moments of strong emotional arousal leads to a lack of emotionally intelligent expression. The results are wasted time, unhealthy interactions with others, and an even bigger stress response. 

Here’s an easy-to-apply system to consider when preparing for another amygdala (emotional) hijacking.

First, the 3As:

Awareness – first, it’s necessary to bring attention to and understand what we are feeling and why. This isn’t as easy as it may seem. We might not know how to identify what emotion we’re experiencing, especially if there is an array of (potentially conflicting) emotions. 

In my example, I was angry, and there was also extreme frustration that was fueling my anger. 

Tips for developing awareness: Journaling can be helpful in documenting and making sense of triggering events. It allows you the opportunity to reflect and compare patterns over time to increase emotional self-awareness.

Acceptance – essential to managing our emotions and reactions. It is an important step towards cultivating our emotional intelligence, allowing us to examine different viewpoints objectively. In accepting the reality of our situation – no matter how unpleasant or difficult it may be – we gain a sense of control that empowers us to take charge of our emotions and reactions. “Acceptance is the only form of total control we have.”  Are you cultivating a core honesty with yourself in terms of how you accept a trigger or hijacking?

Action – specifically contemplated action, is choosing how to respond in a positive and impactful way, which leads to the next phase of the system, also using memorable alliteration. The 4Ps Process is used by Multi-Health Systems and their model of Emotional Intelligence, the EQi-2.0.

 

The 4Ps:

Pause – When we take a moment to pause, our prefrontal cortex is allowed to intervene and regulate the amygdala’s more primitive “freeze, flight or fight” instincts. This process can be likened to pressing the proverbial “pause button” on a remote control, granting our brains the necessary moments of reflection and self-regulation.

Deep diaphragmatic breathing is one of the most effective ways to activate this pause, as it helps interrupt the stress response cycle and provides a much-needed moment of clarity. It also allows us to access higher-order functions in our brains.

Process – after allowing some time for the sympathetic nervous system and amygdala to reset, now reflect upon potential next steps. There are two parts to processing – idea generation and anticipating how obstacles may impact our desired outcome.

Idea generation is an invaluable creative process that can help spur innovation and create solutions. To achieve the greatest success with this technique, it is important to generate as many ideas as possible without judging or critiquing them. This ensures a large pool of possibilities from which to choose, as well as allowing for the creative flow to remain unencumbered. Additionally, taking the time to actively move during idea generation can help keep things fresh and fun. Finally, after a large list of possibilities has been generated, obstacles can be anticipated for each potential solution.

Pick – Systems are more effective when there is a contingency plan involved. Choose two or three possible ideas from the list of ideas generated and evaluated in the ‘Process’ step. Consider Plan A to be the most desirable, mind-blowing option. Plan B is the middle-of-the-road, safe and reliable option. Plan C is the bare minimum option from which anything less is intolerable or acceptable.

Perform – Time to implement the option you have chosen from the ‘Pick’ step. This final step is the actual “doing” or behavior you have carefully and intentionally contemplated. After performing, wrap up the system by evaluating the impact or outcome, as it’s the only way to determine if you will rinse and repeat or tweak in some way. Having an accountability partner or strategic advisor can be a bonus to share feedback so you may continuously evolve and grow.

We all have triggers and a baseline for how much we can tolerate. Dr. Marshall Goldsmith says, “We are on this earth to make a positive difference,” – and the way we may show up in this manner more consistently is by exercising emotional intelligence. ‘Awareness, Acceptance, and Action’ is the first half of the system to exercise emotional intelligence, and Pausing, Processing, Picking, and Performing will ensure that our actions and responses are as positive as possible!

 

Curious about taking your or your team’s performance and well-being to the next level? Let’s connect to discuss your intentions. Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Mutual Accountability – What, Why, How in Your Organization (Part 4 of 4)

Mutual Accountability – What, Why, How in Your Organization

Part 4 of a 4-Part Series

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

May 2023

Imagine a culture where team members care as much about their colleagues’ successes as they do their own, including the journey or path toward achievement. The journey will most likely have some bumps in the road and yet, regard and respect for one another is so high, that team members are delighted to pause their work and take some time to help the colleague who runs into an obstacle in the road. With this regard also comes the tacit understanding that there is a reciprocal “lifting up” of one another that includes calling out any negativity or limiting beliefs that will surely sabotage team initiatives.

This month we’re focusing on mutual accountability, the fourth pillar to building high-powered, highly-functioning teams. Fostering mutual accountability initially begins with the team leader and then blossoms into a flattened hierarchy where everyone assumes the role of being equal partners. Mutual accountability occurs when the leader creates a culture where everyone holds each other accountable for both results and conduct.   

Conduct can be positive, negative or lie somewhere in between the two poles. As with any behavior, we spread sage contagion when we model what we want to see in others and reinforce desired behavior through recognition and celebration. So, to get even more positivity, model and exude a positive outlook, publicly recognize and celebrate behaviors and outcomes when they are moving the organization forward. When the opposite occurs, and behaviors are not conducive to desired results, it’s very important to separate the behavior from the individual. Many leaders fall into this trap and forget to isolate the problem from the individual. Call out what you see and ask how you may support the individual to help them course correct (e.g., “Sally, I’m noticing that you appear frustrated and didn’t deliver the Profit and Loss statement during the date we all agreed upon. How may I help you?”). Always come from a place of support and positivity, and never ever publicly criticize.

When conduct is managed, desired results happen more effortlessly. There are a few other ingredients, however, to establish mutual accountability to drive results: 

1.  Co-creation – just like a healthy coaching and consulting engagement, giving everyone the opportunity to reverse engineer a project from end to beginning will garner more buy-in and motivation. This is a time to keep the controller saboteur at bay so everyone feels safe and inspired to take initiative. Using the sage power of navigate is an appropriate strategy to use to focus on what matters most and how the team will be addressing pain points or potential obstacles.

2.  Establish agreements over expectations – let’s tip our hat to the great Steve Chandler for this strategy which is brilliant. So many organizations use the term “expectations” in anything from job descriptions to project deliverables to operations. Expectations breed toxicity and mistrust because they imply a powerplay. If a team is to feel safe to hold one another accountable, the healthier way to do this is to create agreements with one another and for the team overall. Co-creation is then taking place and the agreement represents a “contract” which can be amended or revisited if a bump in the road occurs.  

3.  Vulnerability – is always the most important ingredient to generate trust. There are hundreds of ways to demonstrate vulnerability and one of my favorites is when a leader admits that they don’t have an answer [yet] and are working, reflecting, or researching to find a possible solution at which time they’ll go back to the team to bounce the idea around.

4.  Using a coaching approach – identified as one of the top 5 most important competencies that a leader needs to adopt in the year ahead (from the Brandon Hall group), is to grow team members through a coach approach. This involves asking questions to help team members tap into their inner wisdom to move forward. Instead of a leader being a ‘sage of the stage’, solving problems, it’s more about being a guide on the side to empower, transform behavior and do so in a way that motivates each individual team member.  

5.  Defer to praise and positivity – mentioned in a previous paragraph discussing conduct, we get what we give. If we model positivity, we will experience even more of it and invite more creativity and innovation.  This fuels results.   Publicly celebrate, privately counsel.  

Once these elements are incorporated, mutual accountability will get traction. Then, it’s just a matter of fine-tuning and looking for ways to rinse, repeat and update as projects evolve or as the team grows. 

Curious about contrasting low vs high mutual accountability? The following chart provides examples:

If you’re familiar with Patrick Lencioni’s model of high-performing teams, you no doubt see many parallels made in what we’ve presented in this article, as well as the previous 3 pillars. Achieving and using all 4 pillars drives desired results. And you also have 5 strategies from this article to establish mutual accountability. To this, and as a bonus, we may add three emotional intelligence skills to leverage: assertiveness, self-regard and impulse control.

Assertiveness is important in any form of team-building or negotiating; we always want to avoid aggressiveness or passivity.

Self-regard is important to know yourself so you may be able to connect with and understand others (empath).  

And impulse control is critical to regulate and temper what may or may not be appropriate to express.

So, we’ve now covered all four leadership pillars necessary for creating high-powered teams. If you missed one or more or would like to unpack how they might exist in your organization, let’s connect. There’s a team assessment we include as part of our Positive Intelligence program with the High-Powered Teams component. And for those of you who did the foundational Positive Intelligence program, recall how your saboteur assessment results were uncanny – so just imagine what can come out in the team assessment! Going from ‘me’ to ‘we’! 

Here’s a recap of the 4 pillars of High-Powered Teams:

  1. Triple Purpose (we covered in February’s newsletter)
  2. Earned Trust (March’s newsletter)
  3. Healthy Conflict  (April’s newsletter)
  4. Mutual Accountability  (May) 

Did you know there’s a program for your team or organization to learn and master the Four Pillars of High-Powered Teams and Leadership? It begins with a 7-week foundational Positive Intelligence program and segues into a transformational experience for Leadership Teams and Executives.  

If you’d like to learn how to re-energize your team and ignite inspiration, let’s explore your challenges. Schedule your complimentary right-fit session here: 

Embracing Conflict for Results and a Healthy Bottom Line (Part 3 of 4)

Embracing Conflict for Results and a Healthy Bottom Line

Part 3 of a 4-Part Series

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

March 2023

It typically exists as two different extremes between people and in organizations – manifesting as either avoidance or overdramatization. On one end of the spectrum, we see some individuals who thrive on the drama of conflict and they live for the debate, argument or fight. In organizations whose leaders employ a pace-setting or coercive hierarchy, this does grave damage in establishing the psychological safety that is critical to creating a healthy culture. And it feeds into unnecessary drama. Or, it can spawn avoidance on the other end of the spectrum with less extreme variations occurring between the poles. 

We’re talking about conflict and it’s no coincidence that organizational development masters including Patrick Lencioni and Shirzad Chamine consider it an essential ingredient to creating thriving relationships. We can apply all 10 of the saboteurs from the Positive Intelligence™ framework and how they keep us from embracing conflict as an opportunity – here are how they show up and how I propose some overlap with Walkers trauma typology model:

Fight – As the name implies, is the aggressive, more hostile response. Saboteurs that can rear up include the Judge, Controller, Stickler and sometimes Hyper-rational and Hyper-Achiever

Flight – The response to flee or bounce away from something or someone perceived as painful. Saboteurs may include Restless, sometimes Hyper-achiever and Avoider

Freeze – The inability to take action as the vagal nerve virtually cripples an effective response. Saboteurs may include Avoider, Hyper-vigilant, sometimes Victim

Fawn – Think of sucking up, being ingratiating or punting your own needs to either keep the peace or appeal to others at an extreme level. Saboteurs include Pleaser, sometimes Avoider and Victim  

As I’ve immersed myself in Positive Intelligence since the onset of the Pandemic, I’m inspired by its application and streamlining of so many other social science platforms. Conflict theory, Change Management, and Emotional Intelligence are just a few.  

And I’d like to invite you to embrace conflict as an opportunity. Avoiding challenges only results in a festering of problems and the absence of deepening relationships with others. The result is wasted time, strained relationships and a stress response. On the other end of the extreme – going all in ‘sturm and drang’ demotivates others, damages relationships, erodes trust and also negatively impacts performance, productivity and well-being.  

Embracing conflict is both an art and a science. When it is in a healthy state, conflict deepens trust and transcends performance and relationships to drive incredible results. 

“Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason… that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics, and religion. He doesn’t want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.”  ~Mark Twain

The following chart is an example of what healthy and harmful conflict might look like in an organization.

The responsibility of leadership (and we are all leaders within our sphere of influence) is to look for underlying aspirations instead of positions and use discernment instead of judgment to create a culture of healthy conflict.

Let’s use the metaphor of growing a beautiful garden. In that garden, we have both roses and weeds. When weeds are preened and kept under control, the roses are better positioned to thrive and bloom in all their glory. Such is the case for embracing conflict and there are really two key ingredients to nurturing healthy conflict:

Be curious – to better understand someone else’s aspirations requires exploring and leaning into curiosity. A closed mind never grows and so an ability to explore others’ viewpoints presents leaders with an opportunity for growth while deepening relationships with others by searching for understanding instead of exerting position. Remember, the ultimate responsibility of all leaders is to inspire and this is not done by positional power! Influence happens via inspiration. Get curious. Ask questions. Consider the other person’s aspiration might be 5-10% valid. Deepen relationships, grow and get closer to a win-win. 

Use empathy – one of the most powerful and yet underutilized and misunderstood powers is understanding and connecting with others. The goal here is to connect to an underlying emotion. Used in tandem with curiosity to ask questions. One of the leading indicators that you’re missing the mark connecting with someone is when they stay stuck in a story. If you are unable to move them beyond their story in some fashion, there is the opportunity to double down on empathy and fully hear (not just listen!) to the other party. For a workplace example, be sure to listen to the video above. 

So far we’ve covered three of the four leadership pillars necessary for creating high-powered teams. Next month stay tuned as we unpack the final pillar and close the gap in how organizations may unleash the power of their teams to drive results and revenue.

  1. Triple Purpose (we covered in February’s newsletter)
  2. Earned Trust(covered last month)
  3. Healthy Conflict
  4. Mutual Accountability  (coming up in May) 

Did you know that there’s a program for your team or organization to learn and master the Four Pillars of High-Powered Teams and Leadership? It begins with a 7-week foundational Positive Intelligence program and segues into a transformational experience for Leadership Teams and Executives.  

If you’d like to learn how to re-energize your team and ignite inspiration, let’s explore your challenges. Schedule your complimentary right-fit session here: 

The 5 Letter Word that is Critical to Foster a Healthy Organizational Culture (Part 2 of 4)

The 5 Letter Word that is Critical to Foster a Healthy Organizational Culture

Part 2 of a 4-Part Series

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

March 2023

It can take months or even years to create and poof… can vanish in mere seconds. Similarly related to an individual’s or organization’s reputation, trust is a concept that takes considerable time to establish. And yet, one [emotionally unintelligent] act can erode all the effort and deposits that were made to build trust. Many CEOs and organizational leaders I’ve consulted believe they’ve established a high level of trust within their organizations, yet sometimes it’s obvious to me that they are either in denial or living in a vacuum when I work with their teams who are ‘afraid’ to contribute or heaven forbid, challenge the status quo because they’re inspired by an idea that could possibly help the organization to innovate and grow. Rampant turnover is another sign that trust might be compromised or deficient. Trust is the most critical foundation to foster a thriving organizational culture. It is essential for motivation, employee engagement and job satisfaction – all tangibles that are positively correlated with a strong, healthy bottom line. The good news is trust is something that can be nurtured and repaired with the right strategy. 

Trust is established when leaders create a safe place for people to be transparent and authentic, admit to mistakes and shortcomings, and feel supported and cared for by one another. The ‘currency of exchange’ for establishing trust is vulnerability. Conversely, the absence of vulnerability erodes trust and lack of applying is where many C-suite execs derail.

It’s no secret I’m a proponent of the Positive Intelligence™ model for developing highly effective leaders and teams; and having gone through the program myself at the height of lockdown during the Pandemic, I experienced the transformational power. That led to getting certified more than two years ago, and now I strongly encourage [hint- require] all new clients and teams to establish this foundation before a segue into Emotional Intelligence.  

The Positive Intelligence Model™ incorporates best practices from Organizational Development masters including Dr. Brene Brown, Patrick Lencioni, Dr. Martin Seligman and more. And what I love about the PQ model is the simplicity and thoroughness in its 4 pillars for creating high-powered teams. Here are the four pillars.  

  1. Triple Purpose (we covered this pillar last month)
  2. Earned Trust
  3. Healthy Conflict
  4. Mutual Accountability  

This month we unpack Earned Trust with the qualifying word “earn” being of utmost importance.  Here are a couple of examples, both personal (one work-related and the other home-oriented): 

Personal Home Example – Ten years ago, I rescued my dog, Nori. I fell in love with my Nori even before I met her when I saw a picture of her doggy smile and true essence in an online photo. When we visited her at Florida Brittany Rescue a few days later, she was a scared and timid pup, yet something told me there was lots of love suppressed in this girl. We took her home and it became clear very quickly that she was damaged goods; someone, maybe the negligent breeder did something to violate trust and this little girl cowered in a corner whenever the doorbell rang and even ran away a couple of times from being spooked out of her skin. I wasn’t sure we would be able to keep Nori; many times she’d scare from something, jump up on a piece of furniture and have an accident. Fast-forward about a year and the consistent deposits of patience and love revealed the loving essence I suspected. Consistency, patience, love and time rehabilitated my best furry friend. 

Personal Work Example – More than 20 years ago, I took the position of Academic Dean for a 2-year Technical College (the school is no longer in business, so I can safely use this example.) It was clear to me almost immediately after my arrival, that my inherited faculty were battered and untrusting. They had an amazing work ethic, were genuine, competent and yet, guarded. After a lot of exploring and consistent check-ins with all of these wonderful educators, I learned that they were overworked, under-appreciated, and manipulated. I also realized I had quite a task ahead of me, that would take time and consistent gestures. And so I got to work to get to know each one of my 60 faculty and staff, kept a file on each of them so I could refer to their motivators, interests, strengths, and areas for development. There were many other tactics I employed and to make a long story short, let’s fast forward to one moment when I held a bi-weekly meeting. One of the most moving and memorable times in my academic career was when this group of educators gave me a standing ovation during this regular meeting. After a few months of getting to know them and applying what I call the Platinum Rule, I incorporated a couple of other changes to show my appreciation and trust in this large group (the expression of trust was to grant them the authority to leave campus when they were not teaching or doing any type of admin, sort of remote work long before it was a concept!).  

There are many ways to be vulnerable to generate trust. Consistency is also important when making deposits into the emotional bank account of trust. And it’s also important to accept that building trust is not a cookie-cutter approach for all organizations, so it can be helpful to work with a trusted advisor or accountability partner to bounce ideas around. 

The following chart is an example of what high and low trust might look like in an organization. If your organization suffers from any of the points on the low trust side, there will be an impact on employee engagement, retention and the bottom line. Not sure? We have a team assessment to find out. Think you have high trust? It’s also great to find out and have the validation and if there are any deficiencies, there’s a solution we can apply. And remember, trust is something that is earned by being vulnerable and consistent in how you act and communicate. 

Did you know that there’s a program for your team or organization to learn and master the Four Pillars of High-Powered Teams and Leadership? It begins with a 7-week foundational Positive Intelligence program and segues into a transformational experience for Leadership Teams and Executives.  

If you’d like to learn how to re-energize your team and ignite inspiration, let’s explore your challenges. Schedule your complimentary right-fit session here: 

Leading by Influence Instead of Authority (Part 1 of 4)

Leading by Influence Instead of Authority

Part 1 of a 4-Part Series

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

February 2023

Systems require regular updating, whether it’s related to software, hardware or people. The antiquated form of leading people relied upon regarding staff and employees from a position of authority, but we now know this model, based upon hierarchy no longer works and is a statistically significant reason people quit; they are basically quitting uncaring and uninspiring leaders (from McKinsey’s 2022 Great Attrition, Great Attraction 2.0 global survey).

The ultimate goal of leading others is to influence, yet many leaders miss the mark because they don’t have the skill set to ignite enthusiasm and bring out the best in others.  

This leads me to 2 definitions of leadership that I believe are integral:  

Definition #1: Leadership is giving of yourself to bring out the best in others for a positive outcome  – Dr. Doni

Definition #2: Leaders inspire others into effective action to achieve shared goals – Shirzad Chamine, Stanford University faculty/researcher and founder of Positive Intelligence® 

Although both of these definitions are similar, I invite you to choose the version that resonates best for you. Shirzad Chamine is one of my mentors (and Patrick Lencioni, Peter Senge, and Brene Brown were some of his), so I was validated that the definition I’ve used and promoted for quite some time aligns with his version. 

Inspiration is not powered by data, analytics, logic or reason, so this is where more left-brained skills are best left parked at the curb for a bit. Inspiration is fueled by emotions – how we connect, convey, and communicate. So now we build a case for both positive intelligence and emotional intelligence as inspiration is a concept fueled by feelings. Don’t get me wrong, logic indeed has a necessary place in decision-making and taking action, though imposes an interdependent link with how others feel. Here are two examples, one personal and one workplace relevant. 

Personal Example: Consider a time you were really excited to buy something, like a new car or the most recent, vivid, large-screen TV

Workplace Example: It’s time to update your organization’s client relationship management software (typically with a steep learning curve and resistance to change from staff, though consider the latest debacle with the airlines – so borne out of necessity!)

Yes, the first example may not be a necessity like the workplace example, but that’s not the point. What matters is how both of these situations are influenced. If you’ve ever purchased a car that you really didn’t need, yet loved, it was because you were inspired and excited. And after your purchase, you likely rationalized the hell out of your decision with all kinds of logic. Emotion happened first, then thinking. In the second example, we have a situation that is being fueled by the necessity to stay competitive, serve customers and perhaps avoid obsolescence. Leadership made the decision to upgrade. And then they need to ‘sell’ all their staff who must be trained and acclimated to the new system. I’ve been through several of these “system upgrades” myself in my current practice and back in the day when I worked in academia. And I’ve also worked with several clients who have taken their organizations through system upgrades. I can tell you these changes are rarely received with cheers and applause. The way to get everyone on board and influence is to inspire (and all change also requires empathy – another critical component).

How to inspire so you’re influencing like a true master?  There are four pillars involved: 

  1. Triple Purpose
  2. Earned Trust
  3. Healthy Conflict
  4. Mutual Accountability  

This month, we’re going to look at Triple Purpose which is all about getting clarity and actionable steps pertaining to your organization’s “BIG WHY.”  And as the name implies there is an impact upon three areas:

  • Positive impact on others
  • Positive impact on each other
  • Positive impact on self

We’re applying good ‘ole Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs with this pillar, striving for the greatest self-actualization of self and teammates, and transformation.

Here are examples of low and high achievements of triple purpose to provide more context:

Triple Purpose

Did you know that there’s a program for your team or organization to learn and master the Four Pillars of Inspiring Leadership? It begins with a 7-week foundational Positive Intelligence program and segues into a transformational experience for Leadership Teams.  

If you’d like to learn how to re-energize your team and ignite inspiration, let’s explore your challenges. Schedule your complimentary right-fit session here: 

Intentional Questions to Ask Your Team for Your Best Year Yet

Intentional Questions to Ask Your Team for Your Best Year Yet

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

January 2023

May your 2023 be off to a strong and fulfilling start! I’ve never been a fan of resolutions – they have a tendency to set most people up for failure. Why? Because most resolutions are lofty, not specific enough and oftentimes, many folks are not motivated to do the work to achieve the results they want. Let’s take a look at two examples – one personal and one professional.  

Consider a popular well-being resolution to get in better shape. Sure, it’s a positive and noble pursuit, but most people who want to lose weight or get in better shape, give up because they don’t set specific goals, they’re not motivated to do the hard work to achieve results, and may not have an accountability partner. Ambition then fizzles out because results are not being achieved quickly enough or at all.  

In the workplace, many leaders want to grow their organizations and scale to a level higher than the previous year. Again, it’s a positive and noble goal, but without specific strategies, motivation to do the work to grow, acquiring necessary skills and utilizing an accountability partner, results will likely fall flat.  

As we usher in 2023, I propose that you set intentions to achieve your goals for the year. Choosing just a few goals is more realistic and I’ve always been a fan of the “3 Big Rocks” method to use as a roadmap for strategic intentionality. Click here if you’re not familiar with the Big Rocks time management tool. Too many goals will dilute your efforts and make it less likely that you succeed in any area. Doing less to achieve more is very effective! Also, give the boot to multi-tasking too because it’s passe and as ineffective as workaholism and perfectionism. 

“It turns out multitaskers are terrible at every aspect of multitasking. They’re terrible at ignoring irrelevant information; they’re terrible at keeping information in their head nicely and neatly organized; and they’re terrible at switching from one task to another.”
— Dr. Clifford Nass, Stanford University

To become a stronger leader and achieve more within your organization, I invite you to use the 6-question process to achieve alignment with your team. Notice the intentionality in these questions and how they will help you gain useful insight to develop specific strategies. This process was created by Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, world-renown executive coach and author, who incidentally, was paid for his high-ticket engagements only when executives made positive gains. Dr. Goldsmith is handsomely paid by the way, so we know his approach and systems work! 

Six questions process to achieve alignment

Ask your team: 

  1. Where are we going? Where do you think we should be going?
  2. Where are you going? Where would you like to be going?
  3. Here’s what I think you’re doing well… Then, what do you think you’re doing well or what are you proud of?
  4. What are your suggestions for the future? If you were your coach, what suggestions might you have for yourself?
  5. How can I help?
  6. Here’s what I want to improve. What ideas do you have for me in this area? 

Give these questions a try and record the feedback you receive, so you may establish specific, realistic strategies. These strategies will help you nurture your 3 Big Rocks for the year and pave the way for the outcomes you desire. Intentionality in your questioning helps to achieve alignment and results. These questions are also great to use in your regular check-ins with your team and by far, much more effective than time-consuming, dreaded performance reviews.

If you’re ready to take your performance and well-being to the next level, let’s connect to discuss your intentions. Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

How to Repair Quiet Quitting and the Great Resignation in the Workplace

Competition is keener than ever for organizations to remain relevant, grow, and thrive. The average age of a company on the Fortune 500 is a little more than 14 years old. By 2027 companies will only average 12 years on the Fortune 500 before dropping off. In comparison, the 1964 average was 33 years! Certainly, there’s an opportunity to reverse this trend. Part of the reversal is to stop the bleeding from rampant attrition, which negatively impacts innovation and can, ultimately, lead to the demise of an organization.

We’ve learned that fallout from the pandemic requires businesses to innovate their operations and how they regard their employees. The response from many organizations has been to focus more on the operations side of the business to address challenges like supply chain issues. But the other half of the equation is to double down on their regard for employees to retain and attract top talent. The ongoing headlines incorporating terms like the Great Resignation, great attrition, and quiet quitting all point to the necessity to reinvent the ways employees are incentivized and compensated. Herein lies the opportunity that many organizations have missed, and the good news is it’s not too late to course correct!

A recent search on the job-hunting platform Indeed.com revealed more than 6400 openings for mid to senior-level leaders proficient in EI. The challenge is that many managers and leaders who are proficient in technical knowledge or are considered subject matter experts (SMEs) get promoted to their level of incompetence. We call this phenomenon the “Peter Principle,” demonstrating how IQ and intellect take leaders only so far before they plateau or derail.

Managers and leaders who derail are often deficient in the people skills that will help them relate to their team, persuade, influence and be the type of leader that others want to be around. Some organizations continue to discount the relevance of EI growth and development for myriad reasons, one being the lack of time to invest in their potential top stars. And yet, when the stakes are the highest and the investment can help stop the bleeding of employees, how can there be any argument against EI development?

In the long run, EQ (emotional quotient) trumps IQ (intelligence quotient). Without being a source of energy for others, very little can be accomplished.” — Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, September 30th, 2014 Chief Executive and Amazon Web Services 294 CEOs believe culture is the most crucial element driving innovation today (August 19, 2021). Dr. Timothy Clark agrees, espousing that the opportunity to create a culture by design instead of default is now. Much of his “Four Stages of Psychological Safety” imply self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and many other skill
areas of emotional intelligence. Many leaders, however, especially those who derail and have a track record of high employee turnover, possess an unconscious incompetence about EI; they lack insight into how EI can positively
impact their influence and organizational performance and productivity while dramatically supercharging their organization’s culture.

There is a dramatic distinction between influencing by inspiration vs. coercing by authority or ranking position. Dr. Tim Clark’s psychological safety is grounded in this same philosophy – modeled top-down by leaders. Supporting results were published in the July 13, 2022, edition of McKinsey Quarterly, emphasizing “it cannot be overstated just how
influential a bad boss can be in causing people to leave. And while in the past, an attractive salary could keep people in a job despite a bad boss, that is much less true now than it was before the pandemic. Our survey shows that
uncaring and uninspiring leaders are a big part of why people leave their jobs, along with a lack of career development. Flexibility, on the other hand, is a top motivator and reason for staying.”
Stay tuned for other incentives to consider and the theme of flexibility that exists as an undercurrent.

Organizations that regress or derail are typically led by leaders who don’t seriously regard the ideas and values of their employees. A lack of EI is at the root cause of these leaders’ woes who are not open to considering other viewpoints or don’t relinquish the tethers of control to empower and engage others. They may attribute the problem to a lack of time or that others aren’t stepping up to take the initiative; herein lies the challenge to let go a little and take some risks with a willingness to be wrong and accept others’ viewpoints. No one can whistle a symphony, and this is certainly true of any organization if it is going to innovate and thrive. Without intentional EI development, it is difficult to overrule the way our brains are designed. Leaders and individuals who are not open to or seek other sources of information, including that which is in stark contrast to their own, are just perpetuating the problem. Sadly, many leaders who struggle will suffer because they are too controlling and will miss the red flags due to the time that they waste trying to prove their position.

S/he doesn’t want to know the other side. S/he wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more” – Mark Twain.

Profit at all costs and pushing employees to uphold the organizational mission are not sustainable. The May/June 2022 edition of Inc magazine featured the Best Workplaces of 2022 and how these companies thrived during the pandemic. Innovative organizations included Seer Interactive in Philadelphia, Addigy in Miami, and Front in San Francisco.

Each of these organizations and hundreds more shared how investing in their employees reaps huge dividends. Some creative perks include:

• Cash rewards/Stock Options

• Empowering employees to referee meeting productivity

• Compartmentalizing Fridays (no outside intrusions or
meetings)

• Handyman help

• Home office stipend

• Mandatory paid vacation every 6 months

• Paid off time for community service

• Paid paternity leave

• Parenting Coach

• Leadership Coach

• Wellness Coach

• And more!

An underlying theme in these successful organizations is innovation by investing in employees and in Leadership Development. Flexibility is also key. Executive leadership drives the initiative, leading by example in their own growth and development. This innovation drives an intentional culture which has a ripple effect on employee engagement and job satisfaction. It’s never too late to course correct and intentionally invest in your employees to transform your organization’s culture to drive innovation. Investments yield dividends! Which ideas resonate most with you to try in your organization? We’d love to hear what’s working well in your organization.

https://www.ei-magazine.com/post/how-to-repair-quiet-quitting-and-the-great-resignation-in-the-workplace

Variations on a Theme of Losing Top Talent and How to Course Correct

Variations on a Theme of Losing Top Talent and How to Course Correct  

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

December 2022

You’ve probably heard or read about variations on how most employees quit their bosses, not organizations. I’ve heard statistics as high as 80% as the main reason employees move on. Recent variations on this theme include the volume of employees who are leaving in droves, aka the “Great Resignation,” doing the absolute minimum of job requirements to get by (“quiet quitting”), and now there’s a new variation coming along as women leave leadership positions at rates higher than ever CLICK HERE FOR MORE ON “THE GREAT BREAK-UP”.

The bleeding of top talent must stop if organizations are going to survive, let alone thrive. Consider the cost of replacing top talent ranging from 30-50% for entry-level employees and reaching as high as 400% for highly-specialized executive-level leadership.  

If organizations are going to innovate and grow, now is the time to heed saving money, as well as generating revenue. And saving money can lead to making more money!

Read more on this topic, including research bolstering my argument in my most recent article in Emotional Intelligence Magazine:  How to Repair Quiet Quitting and the Great Resignation in the Workplace

“Do something today for which your future self will thank you” 

P.S. On the topic of variations on a theme – here’s one of my absolute favorites – Rachmaninoff’s “Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini. At about 15:42 minutes is the most gorgeous and luscious melody. To all of my clients – it’s great for some advanced PQ reps to listen for as many instrumental voices as possible! CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

If you’re stuck or would like to bat around some ideas, let’s connect. Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Navigating Through a “Storm” – Necessary Steps to Manage Change

Navigating Through a “Storm” — Necessary Steps to Manage Change  

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

November 2022

“Something has to die in order for something else to live.” – Danny Ceballos, CEO of Unleashed Consulting

Consider my colleague’s quote above. It’s a bit extreme, right? And yet, when it comes to change management of any kind, there’s a lot of truth to his wisdom that may be applied in organizations and in your personal life. 

Enduring change of any kind means letting go of something else. And letting go indicates there is a loss that is occurring on some level. Loss typically involves grieving. And grief involves honor and love for something/someone else. It can be quite difficult to navigate through change without an awareness and acceptance of emotions. Failure to process the thoughts and feelings that you or your team members are experiencing will result in more resistance and less recovery. This is when change management turns sour in an organization or when an individual is unable to bounce back from the loss. That which we resist persists.

Let’s use the recent example of my home flooding from a storm surge caused by Hurricane Ian. Like so many in my community, I’ve lost comfort, security, and the reliability of things and systems that my family and I built from 20 years of putting our stamp of ‘love’ into our home. Being displaced from our home means letting go of what we created. To embrace the future and the next steps, we must let go of former things and systems if we are going to move on and recover. Letting go requires awareness, acceptance, and processing of the range of emotions that at times, have been consuming. 

And then there’s the global implication. Our community is grieving collectively because without choice and beyond our control, the change that has resulted from the storm has wreaked havoc and devastation that will be felt for years. My family was fortunate compared to many who lost everything or even worse, lost loved ones.  

And so, I realized in my example, that change, letting go, and loss, require navigating through the 5 stages of grieving. Here’s an example:

Denial – No way this is happening, not to me! We’re not going to have our home flood.

Anger – Why the $*&# did this happen, I don’t deserve this *&#%!

Depression – Can show up as fatigue, crying, despair, or general sadness about letting go

Bargaining – Maybe if I ________, then __________ will happen instead.

Acceptance – Initial peace sets in and clarity, even focus of next steps falls into place. Initial next steps are made, indicating recovery has begun. 

Emotions as we all know can be messy. Navigating through emotions in the stages above may not necessarily happen in a linear way. Some of the stages might be skipped or there may also be some vacillating between stages, especially when one emotion is not recognized and honored for long enough. 

These stages also apply to organizational change and how leaders respond accordingly. One hot topic is hybrid work since many employees have resisted a complete return to the office. It’s interesting because, at the beginning of lockdown, most employees were far from enamored with the concept of work from home (WFH). And they grieved the change – the loss of going into the office where they had things like physical boundaries. Two years since the introduction of WFH, many employees have thrived and demonstrated successful acclimation, evident through project/task completion. And now, there’s the grieving associated with the return to the office. The return to the office and all the reflecting that happened during the pandemic is what has spawned the Great Resignation and more recently – quiet quitting – which is doing the bare minimum of job requirements. 

So how does recovery happen so change is embraced and converted as successfully as possible? It requires awareness, acceptance, and processing of emotions as they occur. This may include one or more of the 5 stages associated with grieving. An awareness of emotions, sensations, thoughts, and feelings needs to be acknowledged. It is sitting with an emotion and acknowledging it. Sitting with and accepting an emotion is the only way to move up the ladder of emotion to a more manageable level. For example, moving from anger to frustration first requires awareness and acceptance to process anger.  

Extreme examples will likely require more time to progress up the ladder of emotions. In this case, patience is indeed a necessary virtue. Slowing down to speed up progress, is imminent. Applying deep listening and empathy will likely be part of the steps to help resistant employees. A consultant may shrink some of the change, and help walk you through awareness, acceptance, and the steps to successfully navigate change. 

On a personal note – I want to flex my optimism muscle for brighter days ahead. To borrow the wishes shared by a client after Hurricane Ian, practicing the characteristics of gratitude, flexibility, and patience has helped tremendously (thank S.L.!) The unwelcome change brought about by Hurricane Ian has required me to lean into my training in both Positive and Emotional Intelligence, and I’m thankful it has helped so much. And, coincidentally (or not), my temporary home happens to be on Brightside Court in the community where I’ll likely live for several months. I embrace it as a sign and wish all of my audience, whether you’re in Southwest Florida or elsewhere – peace and fulfillment as you navigate the storms that are an inevitable part of life at home, work, and everywhere in between.  

If you would like to learn more about how you may successfully navigate ‘storms’, let’s connect. Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Your Jekyll and Hyde Brains

Your Jekyll and Hyde Brains

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

September 2022

If you watched the 1994 movie, Shawshank Redemption, you may remember the one character Brooks, who goes to extreme measures from long-term institutionalization that has instilled qualities of learned helplessness and learned hopelessness. Another character in the movie – Red, played by actor Morgan Freeman, displays similar behavior when he gives up on his chances of getting parole. Positive psychology jargon aside and so as not to be a spoiler alert if you haven’t seen this amazing film, allow me to cut to the chase.

We all have instances when we get triggered or allow our survivor brain to overtake the thrive, aka sage part of our brain. Our brains are akin to a case of Jekyll and Hyde; two very distinct and different renderings that appropriately, have self-fulfilling outcomes. The survival region of our brain is necessary for imminent physical dangers. It keeps us from walking into a street when traffic is crazy, but doesn’t serve us when an employee consistently fails to execute a task and we respond with judgmental accusations or interrogation. Our brains have not evolved rapidly enough to distinguish physical vs. psychological threats, yet more of our dangers now are of the latter type.  

Unfortunately, our survivor brain keeps us and our ego safe and comfortable. We “learn” to accept and fall victim to doing what is easy or familiar because a goal can seem too far from reach. The more the ‘easy’ behavior is chosen, the more Mr. Hyde appears, alluring behavior is reinforced, and the response becomes entrenched through neural pathways in our brain. As a result, the negatively motivated survival brain wins and so, goals are not achieved, potential is not achieved and helpless or hopeless feelings can become consuming.

Next, we have the thrive part of the brain where your sage power and Dr. Jekyll reside. 

The gap between vision and steps to achieving it may be far apart, even daunting. Add to it how the initial appeal can wear off when progress seems minimal or setbacks further reinforce the negativity that resides in the survival part of our brain. 

Although the character Brooks succumbs to the helpless and hopeless allure of his survival brain, Red’s outcome is much different when he reframes to take a different approach. And if you watched the film you may believe otherwise, so I challenge you to consider how Red liberated himself from pressure. Herein lies the power of the thrive portion of our brain; we can still win when we learn and regroup. And the outcome can be much more desirable. Intentionality, awareness, and consistent practice are critical in building up the neural pathways that will weaken your survival brain and build up the thrive part of your brain where sage wisdom and many more productive behaviors and characteristics reside. How?

Here are a few simple strategies that have worked for those who have accomplished great things and experienced more Dr. Jekyll moments:

1.  Practice consistent gratitude. Appreciation is like a muscle and grows with use. If we want to appreciate more and invite more appreciation (and joy) into our lives, it’s necessary to practice appreciation by showing gratitude. Done consistently (daily!), this is a fun activity you may do with team members, direct reports, and your kids, and when done frequently for a period of weeks, I am extremely confident you will experience more positive moments and facilitate more successful outcomes and results.

2.  Meditate or do some PQ reps (latter for those who have or will be going through the Positive Intelligence program) to zone in not out and become mindful of your being. Being drives doing and as Deepak Chopra likes to say – we are human beings. Slowing down to be intentional, fall back in love with that which is ordinary, and connecting with how your internal being drives your external doing will positively impact you and others.

2.  Reward yourself for effort not outcome. Similar to practicing appreciation is the kind and empathetic regard for yourself to focus on the courage you took, no matter how much or how little, to engage in behavior to move the needle. When you celebrate the effort, you will be more likely to act boldly again in the future because you are reinforcing the rationale for the behavior. Additionally, when you celebrate effort, rinse and repeat, you will more likely have a desirable outcome to also celebrate.

When we focus on quick fixes or strive for instant gratification, there is a tendency to “die before going into battle.”  And this is the reason that many leaders and people in general never achieve their greatest potential and dreams.

There are of course more strategies and exercises we may explore to weaken the survival part of your brain and reinforce the thrive part of your brain. If you’d like to do more than just survive, let’s connect to purge Mr. Hyde and reinforce Dr. Jekyll in your sage aka thrive brain. Click the button below to schedule your complimentary strategy session. 

What Mr. Rogers Can Teach Us About Empathy and Why it Matters

Your spouse regularly lashes out, frustrated over the temperature at home, and you engage in ongoing thermostat wars. At work, a project manager you supervise continually complains about software that doesn’t maintain her progress notes. A close friend continues to vent to you about how it’s difficult for her to commit to gathering when you propose limited options. Do you ever wonder why some people remain stuck sharing the same story over and over?

As Stephen Covey says, “Seek first to understand and then be understood.” This round-and-round dialogue may indicate a need for empathy. It’s difficult for us to move past a topic or issue or listen to others until we have felt heard. Empathy holds tremendous power in creating thriving relationships and is one of the most misunderstood and under-utilized EQ skills.

Dr. Brené Brown indicates that empathy is about understanding and connecting to the emotions around an experience. It is feeling with someone, not feeling for them; this is where empathy can be blurred with sympathy. Sympathy often involves pity for another person, which can be insulting as it implies we are outpacing in some way. Empathy does not involve pity and requires us to suspend all judgment of another’s viewpoint as being good or bad or seeing another’s feelings as being invalid. While we may disagree with why someone feels a certain way about a given situation, empathy teaches us to connect with shared emotions. I.e., “I, too, know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, sad, etc.”

It’s this disconnect in understanding and acceptance that often leads to incivility, disrespect, and a lack of empathy, especially when controversial topics and strong belief systems are involved.

Developing Empathy:

We must first have deep empathy for ourselves before fully empathizing with another. This can be difficult, especially in cultures where it’s reinforced to first attend to the concern of others and suppress our feelings. We must be aware of, understand, and accept our feelings and emotions to fully understand and accept them in others.

Empathy creates a safe container for vulnerable communication. Vulnerability is powerful and is the currency of exchange to build trust and thriving relationships at home, work, and everywhere in our sphere of influence. It’s also necessary to apply a little two-step in conversation and spend some time to discover what is meaningful to others and motivates them so we know how to respond appropriately. The Platinum Rule teaches us to treat others as THEY want to be treated (not the cookie-cutter Golden Rule that most of us were taught growing up, which says we should do unto others as they would do unto us). Brené Brown also talks about putting ourselves in another’s shoes to connect to an emotion we’ve likely experienced, though maybe for a different situation. For example, if a friend loses their job, we can relate to the emotion of fear and disappointment even though we were never laid off or fired from a position.

Emulating Mr. Rogers

Due to his keen ability to empathize, Mr. Rogers was among the most highly respected and regarded TV personalities for decades. He makes a great ‘avatar’ for empathy because he treated everyone as a VIP and was diligent in his communication. Mr. Rogers reads, relates, and responds with ease and finesse, which segues to three strategies you may incorporate to elevate your empathy skills:

Read – Deep active listening is critical and needs to happen at a level attuned to the other party. “LISTEN,” rearranged, spells “SILENT.” Listening with the intent to respond is not effective and will shut down a healthy communication cycle. Suspend judgment. This is a time for learning. To quote Tom Chi, “Knowing is the enemy of learning.”

Relate – This might involve using more silence, asking powerful questions to extract more meaning, and using body language like a smile, hug, or leaning in. Mirroring body language can also be helpful if it’s not threatening because our neurons respond favorably to similar gestures—this happens naturally when we are genuinely engaged and shouldn’t be forced. Remember the platinum rule, so you are making your interaction about the other person and not your agenda. It can help to internalize the mantra that everyone has a story.

Paraphrasing and summarizing can help check that you fully understand and facilitate relating. Responses could include: “I hear you saying….,” or “That sucks that you didn’t get the promotion. Would you like to talk about it?”

Respond – This is relating at a higher level. After feeling with the person, it’s time to decide if there is more to learn. Perhaps ask if the other person would like to share more or if you feel equipped, ask if they would like some help to solve the challenge. But don’t go into problem-solving without asking permission first, as the other party may not want ideas. If they welcome the opportunity, batting around some ideas may provide some hope and initial peace. Finally, when some closure and peace have been restored, it can be helpful to redirect to a new topic. Possibilities may include saying, “I’m off to the water cooler” if you’re at work or “any interesting weekend plans?” which could apply to almost anyone. Or, it might be better to say nothing more and just let the other party stay in their space to process their thoughts and feelings. There is no cookie-cutter formula, and it is ok to experiment and even admit that you’re not quite sure how to respond.

Acknowledging and showing others’ thoughts and feelings matter helps stop the cycle of repeating stories so others can move beyond feeling stuck. Hearing what others are communicating intellectually and emotionally is empathy in practice. It helps to recognize communication verbally, through body language, and behaviorally. Empathy requires a genuine interest in the other person and applying the platinum rule. Remember what Mr. Rogers would do to slow down, deeply listen and treat everyone like a VIP. Get curious, ask questions, listen without judging and then check to be sure you understand and respond for some initial resolve. Life is too short for thermostat wars, misunderstood employees, and not making the most of our time on this planet with family and friends. Let’s change the dialogue to heal and transform our planet.

How to Become Part of the GREAT RETENTION

How to Become Part of the GREAT RETENTION

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 

Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

June 2022

We’ve made the concept of Leadership into something bigger than it needs to be. The never-ending research, books, theories, programs and courses are testament to this. And week after week, the struggles of leading come up in my sessions with clients. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting to have all the answers and certainly, I have had my share of “learning experiences” in different leadership roles. Though there are some things I know to be true and effective that have resulted in home runs (measured through engagement and fulfillment).

Everyone leads at some point or another in their sphere of influence at work, home or in their community. Mastery of personal leadership is of course critical. We can only go as far with others as we’re willing to be honest and open in our own awareness, acceptance and willingness to learn and grow. And there are some basics of leadership that transcend every situation and challenge to which I offer my basic definition of Leadership:   

Giving of ourselves to bring out the best in others for a positive outcome – Doni Landefeld

Leadership doesn’t need to be a big, scary, abstract, difficult concept. There are some basics that transcend time. Sometimes the old ways are the best.

Here are 10 basics you may incorporate immediately to get higher engagement and sustain happiness amongst your staff. It all begins with the mastery of personal leadership – giving of yourself to bring out the best in others…


Top 10: Ways to Lead by Example
 

Good leaders must lead by example. Through their actions, which are aligned with what they say, they become a person others want to follow. When leaders say one thing but do another, they erode trust, a critical element of productive leadership. Here are 10 of the dozens of ways to lead by example.

  1. Take responsibility. Blame costs you your credibility, keeps team members on the defensive and ultimately sabotages real growth.
  2. Be truthful. Inaccurate representation affects everyone. Show that honesty really IS the best policy.
  3. Be courageous. Walk through fire (a crisis) first. Take calculated risks that demonstrate commitment to a larger purpose.
  4. Acknowledge failure. It makes it OK for your team to do the same and defines failure as part of the process of becoming extraordinary.
  5. Be persistent. Try, try again. Go over, under or around any hurdles to show that obstacles don’t define your company or team.
  6. Create solutions. Don’t dwell on problems, instead be the first to offer solutions and then ask your team for more.
  7. Listen. Ask questions. Seek to understand. You’ll receive valuable insights and set a tone that encourages healthy dialogue.
  8. Delegate liberally. Encourage an atmosphere in which people can focus on their core strengths.
  9. Take care of yourself. Exercise, don’t overwork, take a break. A balanced team, mentally and physically, is a successful team. Model it, encourage it, support it!
  10. Roll up your sleeves. Like Alexander the Great leading his men into battle, you’ll inspire greatness in your company.

If you’re feeling stuck, curious, or might benefit from accountability and more ideas, let’s connect! Click the button below to schedule your complimentary strategy session and come to the call with a challenge or opportunity!