The Professional Development Model that Streamlines All Others: EQ Example

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Positive Intelligence ™ (PQ) streamlines other professional development models by simplifying the process of skill acquisition and personal growth into an accessible framework. Here’s how it works:

1. Condenses complex processes into simple steps: PQ reduces the complexity of various models into three main steps: Pause, Notice, Choose. These steps are easy to remember and apply across various situations, making personal development more approachable. For example, compared to more detailed frameworks like the BarOn EQ-I’s “Pause, Process, Pick, Perform,” PQ simplifies it, making it more intuitive to use in high-pressure environments.
2. Focus on mental fitness as a foundation: Many professional development models focus on skills, behaviors, and external strategies. PQ addresses the root cause of why individuals often fail to implement these strategies—mental saboteurs (negative thought patterns). By emphasizing mental fitness, PQ helps people identify and intercept self-sabotaging tendencies, making other models more effective and long-lasting.
3. Applies across multiple disciplines: PQ is versatile, combining neuroscience, positive psychology, and performance science, which means it can be integrated into leadership training, team dynamics, emotional intelligence development, and even stress management. It enhances the effectiveness of these models by providing a core approach to overcoming mental blocks and optimizing performance.
4. Builds resilience and adaptability: PQ not only streamlines but also strengthens other development models by helping individuals recover more quickly from setbacks and stay engaged in the learning process. Its focus on positive mental framing increases one’s capacity to cope with challenges, improving long-term results in professional development efforts. 

On contemplating “pre-silience”

“Resilience means bouncing back from adversity. But what we want is to train our minds so that we maintain our capacities even as we are experiencing challenge.”           

— Peak Mind by Amishi P. Jha, Ph.D.

Now, to apply our example – Positive Intelligence (PQ) and Emotional Intelligence (EQ) are related but distinct concepts, each focusing on different aspects of personal and interpersonal development:

1. Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It encompasses skills such as empathy, self-awareness, emotional regulation, and effective communication. EQ helps people navigate social interactions, build strong relationships, and make informed decisions based on emotional awareness.
2. Positive Intelligence (PQ): Focuses on mental fitness, combining principles from neuroscience, positive psychology, and performance science to increase one’s capacity to handle life’s challenges with a positive mindset. PQ highlights how individuals often sabotage their own success by misusing their strengths and helps them develop mental resilience. PQ is about understanding the mental patterns and triggers that undermine performance and well-being, and building strategies to shift towards more productive, positive thoughts and behaviors.
3. Key Difference: While EQ is about managing emotions and social interactions, PQ emphasizes mental fitness by addressing how we self-sabotage and helping individuals strengthen their ability to respond to challenges with a positive, growth-oriented mindset. PQ is a foundation for enhancing EQ, as it raises one’s capacity to manage emotional triggers more effectively.

So the takeaway we’d like you to consider is:

Positive Intelligence makes professional growth models more accessible, effective, and durable by simplifying processes, addressing root causes of self-sabotage, and building mental resilience.

PQ+EQ=A New You. Let’s simplify EQ acquisition through PQ!

What are the root causes holding you back? Let’s meet up for a chemistry call!

3 Simple Steps to Amplify Emotional Intelligence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Amplifying emotional intelligence is about refining the ability to understand and manage emotions, which is crucial for personal growth, professional success, and well-being. Since 2010, we’ve been helping leaders and teams elevate Emotional Intelligence to inspire and influence for greater impact. And, one of the “gifts” from the Pandemic was discovering a new model and platform, called Positive Intelligence™ which streamlines and simplifies concepts from Emotional Intelligence so skill acquisition is facilitated easier and has a longer-lasting impact. By integrating EQ and PQ, leaders and teams can achieve greater emotional resilience and personal growth.

Here are the 3 steps to elevate Emotional Intelligence featured in the July 2024 edition of Emotional Intelligence magazine. CLICK HERE FOR A 2-MINUTE READ

How Leaders May Model a Purposeful Existence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Our world is brimming with distractions, so finding meaning and purpose in life may seem like a daunting task. Yet, it is an essential pursuit, one that can lead to a more fulfilling and content existence. Whether it’s through personal growth, relationships, career, or contributing to the community, there are countless avenues to explore in the quest for a more purposeful life. Finding more purpose leads to higher levels of self-actualization, which is the ultimate need of human beings – to unlock one’s greatest potential and creativity. Doing so is living a purposeful life and for leaders, there are a few layers to accommodate.

This month, we explore the penultimate element from Martin Seligman’s PERMA model. In previous months we unpacked Positive emotions, Engagement, and Relationships. Now let’s dive into Meaning and living a purposeful existence. 

“Who You Are is More Important than What You Do”

– Dr. Leroy Olson, a (favorite) leadership professor at Temple University back in 1994

Understanding the Importance of Purpose

At its core, a sense of purpose gives our lives meaning. It provides direction, motivation, and a reason to get out of bed every morning. When we lack purpose, life can feel aimless and empty, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and even depression.

Psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived the horrors of the Holocaust, famously wrote, “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” Frankl believed that even in the most challenging of circumstances, finding meaning could help individuals endure and overcome almost any hardship.

Discovering Your Passions and Values

One of the first steps in finding more meaning in life is identifying your passions and values. What activities make you feel most alive? What causes are you deeply passionate about? Reflecting on these questions can help you uncover what truly matters to you.

Take the time to explore different activities and experiences. Try new things, whether it’s learning a new skill, volunteering for a cause you believe in, or traveling to a new destination. Pay attention to how these experiences make you feel and whether they align with your values. Not sure of your core values? There are some great exercises and inventories to help you understand your core values. One of the greatest mismatches of employees in organizations is when core values do not align with organizational values, so it’s worth a little time to gain clarity in this area; we can help with this if you’re stuck.

Cultivating Meaningful Relationships

Relationships play a significant role in our lives and can greatly contribute to our sense of purpose. Yes, there is some crossover from last month’s plunge into nurturing authentic relationships! Remember, we are social creatures. Cultivating meaningful connections with friends, family, and even colleagues can provide support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Invest time and energy into building and maintaining relationships. Make an effort to connect with others on a deeper level, engage in meaningful conversations, and offer your support when needed. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, and don’t hesitate to distance yourself from those who drain your energy or bring negativity into your life. Boundaries, like values, are so important to understand and incorporate.

Finding Purpose in Your Work

For many people, finding purpose in their careers is essential for a fulfilling life. While not everyone has the luxury of pursuing their passion as a full-time job, finding meaning in your work is still possible. If you’re not familiar with the parable of the three stone-cutters, here’s a 2 minute listen to share with your team members, it’s a good one!: CLICK HERE FOR QUICK INSPIRING PARABLE

Consider how your skills and talents can be used to make a positive impact in your workplace or community. Whether it’s through helping others, solving complex problems, or creating something of value, finding purpose in your work can provide a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Contributing to Something Greater Than Yourself

Finally, one of the most powerful ways to find meaning in life is by contributing to something greater than yourself. Whether it’s through volunteering, activism, or simply being kind to others, finding ways to make a positive impact in the world can give your life greater meaning and purpose.

Take the time to identify causes that are important to you and find ways to get involved. Whether it’s volunteering at a local shelter, raising awareness for a particular issue, or donating to a charitable organization, even small actions can make a significant difference.

The Three Layers Leaders Need to Accommodate

Not surprisingly, leaders have an even greater responsibility to help their teams find meaning and purpose. We adhere to the model recommended through Positive Intelligenceä which promotes “Triple Purpose” and is one of the four pillars of high-performing teams.

Definition of Triple Purpose – when a Leader inspires others to work towards their own self-actualization, helps teammates to do the same and positively impacts others.

And here’s a table that helps to show when triple purpose is low contrasted to when it is high. The parable of the stone-cutter again and when achieving triple purpose what a way to create profound company culture!

Here are a couple of quick tricks leaders may use to foster more meaning in activities and interactions:

1. Set a positive intention prior. Being intentional to “begin with the end in mind” helps to manifest what is desired in terms of deliverables.
2. An expansion of setting intentions is to empower team members to share their intentions first, then for leader to share intentions and then together to establish a collective intention or agreement. This is a powerful way to learn more about your team members and collaborate.

Building Authentic Leadership to Cultivate Healthier Relationships

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

In the pursuit of happiness and well-being, relationships play a pivotal role. Renowned psychologist Martin Seligman introduced the PERMA model, which identifies five essential elements for flourishing: Positive emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. In the last three months, we gave an overview of the model and more deeply explored the P and E of the model. Now we plunge into ‘Relationships,’ of which we all have many, and therefore there’s lots of opportunity for messiness AND maximizing.

Beginning with the end in mind, cultivating meaningful connections is a crucial aspect of well-being because human beings are inherently social creatures, and we need one another to thrive. Strong social bonds provide emotional support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. And well-being impacts performance, so we now have a really good reason to focus on doing whatever is in our power to create and sustain healthy relationships! Investing time in relationships, both at work and in our personal lives, contributes not only to our mental health but also enhances our overall life satisfaction. After all, the joy of shared experiences and accomplishments is unparalleled.

A key theme in cultivating relationships revolves around authenticity. This is one area where leadership gets tricky because there’s no cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all all approach; what works for one leader might not apply for another. But there are some essential ingredients to being authentic and creating a signature style that is both genuine and impactful. Here’s how to build your authentic leadership brand: 

“It’s no longer about what our leaders are doing, it’s about who they are being”
Brandon Hall Conference, February 2024

1. Accentuate Positive Emotions within Relationships:

Positive emotions are the building blocks of strong relationships. To amplify relationships, it’s essential to foster positivity within interactions. Authentic leaders express gratitude, show appreciation, and practice acts of kindness. Whether through a simple thank-you note or a heartfelt gesture, cultivating positivity enhances the emotional bond between individuals. By focusing on positive emotions, relationships become more resilient, nurturing, and fulfilling.

2. Engage Fully in Relationship Interactions:

Engagement refers to the state of being fully absorbed and involved in activities. Within relationships, it translates to being present and attentive during interactions. Authentic leaders prioritize quality time spent together. Put away distractions, such as phones or work-related thoughts, and engage in meaningful conversations. Active listening, empathy, and genuine interest in the other person’s experiences foster deeper connections. By engaging fully in relationship interactions, bonds strengthen, and mutual understanding deepens.

3. Nurture Meaningful Connections:

Meaningful relationships provide a sense of purpose and belonging. Authentic leaders focus on nurturing connections that hold significance. This involves investing time and effort in building and maintaining meaningful relationships. Identify shared values, interests, and goals, and explore ways to collaborate and support each other’s aspirations. By fostering meaningful connections, relationships become sources of inspiration, support, and fulfillment.

4. Find Purpose and Accomplishment Together:

Shared goals and accomplishments are integral in cultivating relationships. Within the PERMA model, accomplishment refers to the pursuit of achievement and mastery. Authentic leaders identify common goals or projects that both parties can work towards together. Whether it’s tag-teaming a project, attending an event together, or supporting each other’s personal endeavors, shared experiences create a sense of unity and collaboration. Celebrate milestones and achievements together, reinforcing the bond and sense of accomplishment within the relationship.

5. Prioritize Relationship Building:

Amplifying relationships requires intentional effort and prioritization. In the craziness of daily life, it’s easy to overlook the importance of nurturing connections. However, investing time and energy into relationship building yields long-term benefits for well-being and happiness. Authentic leaders prioritize and schedule regular check-ins, outings, or activities to strengthen the bond with important people in their lives. Make a conscious effort to communicate openly, resolve conflicts constructively, and show appreciation for each other’s presence. By prioritizing relationship building, individuals can cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections that contribute to overall happiness and fulfillment.

6. Practice Gratitude and Appreciation:

Gratitude is a powerful tool for amplifying relationships. Expressing gratitude towards colleagues and loved ones strengthens the emotional bond and fosters a sense of appreciation. Authentic leaders take time to acknowledge the positive qualities and contributions of those around them. Whether through verbal expressions of gratitude, small gestures of kindness, or thoughtful acts of service, practicing gratitude cultivates a culture of appreciation within relationships. By acknowledging and valuing each other’s presence, relationships thrive and flourish.

7. Grow Empathy and Understanding:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Within relationships, empathy fosters compassion, connection, and mutual support. Authentic leaders cultivate empathy by actively seeking to understand the perspectives and experiences of others. They practice active listening, validate emotions, and offer support and encouragement when needed. By fostering empathy and understanding, relationships become more nurturing, resilient, and fulfilling.

We’re social creatures by design. Relationships are fundamental to human well-being happiness, and performance. By leveraging insights from Martin Seligman’s PERMA model, leaders can amplify their relationships and cultivate deeper connections. By focusing on positivity, engagement, meaningfulness, accomplishment, prioritization, gratitude, and empathy, relationships thrive and flourish, contributing to overall happiness and impact in life. And we are all leaders within our sphere of influence! As we prioritize and invest in nurturing our relationships, we pave the way for a more fulfilling and meaningful existence.

Interested in how you may embrace PERMA to amplify your well-being and performance? We have a special 14-session package designed for leaders at all levels. What we cover in these sessions may be applied at work and home, so there’s double the ROI! Topics we’ll cover and implement include forgiveness, gratitude, savoring, building optimism, leveraging strengths and much more. Our flagship Positive Intelligence program is also included and for a limited time, this package deal is available for $4995 per person until we fill available openings (a savings of more than $2000). 

Imagine having a greater impact and more fulfillment – we can help you create more!

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Unlocking the Enviable Flow State to Amplify Engagement

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Continuing our deeper dive into Martin Seligman’s ‘PERMA’ model, last month we unpacked generating more positive emotions, the “P” in the model. This month, we explore engagement, the “E” in Seligman’s model and striving towards more experiences in the enviable state of Flow.

Engagement involves immersing ourselves in activities that captivate our attention and align with our skills. This state of flow, as renowned psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes, occurs when we are fully absorbed in a challenging and rewarding task. By identifying our strengths and leveraging them in our professional and personal pursuits, we can achieve a sense of mastery that propels us toward peak performance and fulfillment. It’s about losing track of time because we’re so engrossed in what we’re doing – a sure sign that we’re in the zone.

In the pursuit of productivity, creativity, and fulfillment, many seek the elusive state of flow—a mental state where one is fully immersed and focused in an activity, experiencing a sense of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment. Csikszentmihalyi describes flow as “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.”

Meaningful engagement to experience more Flow depends not only on what we do but how we do it because we, as human beings, have a limited bandwidth for attention. Therefore, what we pay attention to during waking hours is an important factor in how we experience our time and quality of life.

Here’s how to unlock the flow state and harness its benefits:

First, identify activities that match your skills and challenge level. According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow occurs when the challenges of a task are perfectly matched with one’s skills, neither too easy nor too difficult. Engage in activities that push your abilities just beyond their current limits, providing a sense of achievable challenge.

Second, focus your attention fully on the task at hand. Flow arises when distractions fade away, and concentration becomes laser-sharp. Csikszentmihalyi notes that during flow, “The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz.” Cultivate mindfulness and eliminate interruptions to maintain deep immersion in your chosen activity.

Also, cultivate clear goals and immediate feedback mechanisms. Csikszentmihalyi highlights the importance of clear objectives and instant feedback to maintain flow. Define specific, achievable goals for your task and establish ways to monitor your progress in real time, allowing for continuous adjustments and improvements.

Finally, cultivate a mindset of enjoyment and intrinsic motivation. Flow is characterized by a deep sense of enjoyment and intrinsic satisfaction derived from the activity itself, rather than external rewards. Approach your chosen tasks with curiosity, passion, and a genuine interest in the process, rather than focusing solely on outcomes.

Although these steps can get you and your team members started, there’s no substitute for working with a strategic accountability partner. Doing so will open up new opportunities like utilizing assessments to determine skills and strengths, incorporating mindfulness activities best done through building a foundation in positive intelligence, and establishing realistic goals aligned with strategic steps. Journaling in this instance, though helpful in so many other ways to build positive and emotional intelligence is not as effective to enhance meaningful engagement because it doesn’t focus on the present moment; it is instead retrospective and relies on memory. So, we recommend a technique called the Experience Sampling Method (ESM). The ESM method requires recording responses several times per day at random intervals. Setting a timer can be a helpful way to schedule these moments to intentionally record responses. For even greater impact, partnering with a strategic accountability partner will help to explore your responses and determine the next action steps. Use the ESM with the following inquiries:

1. At this moment, what are you doing?
2. With whom are you doing the activity or are you alone?
3. How happy are you on a scale of 0 to 10?
4. How much skill is required for this activity? (none, some, moderate, a lot)
5. Describe your level of motivation as you engage in this activity (nothing else to do, required to do it, know it needs to be done, want to do it)
6. How challenged do you feel by the activity on a scale from 0 to 10?
7. How much are you concentrating on what you are doing on a scale of 0 to 10? 

“It’s no longer about what our leaders are doing, it’s about who they are being” – Brandon Hall Conference, February 2024

 How content are you with your level of “being?”

Record your results over a few weeks to compare patterns. The results can be eye-opening, even shocking. Most people experience the highest level of engagement when they are involved in activities that lead to personal growth and social synergy, contributing to the greater good. It’s important to understand the percentage of time spent in different categories of activities and with whom. Which activities lead you into Flow, if any? How often does a state of Flow occur for you in a typical week? Remember that focus is important and goals help command attention. Therefore, FLOW, a term coined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi may be described as:

• Feeling like effortless action
• Involving goals that demand specific responses and where clear, relevant feedback is available, involving activities that require high levels of skill and concentration
• Generating a “paradox of control” – feeling sometimes nearly on the edge of being out of control and feeling exhilarated at the completion of a task because one was able to maintain control over one’s movement or the environment.
• Losing self-consciousness – that is NOT worrying about what others think

Examples of Flow can be found in sports such as sailing, kayaking, crew (check out the book or movie “Boys in the Boat” as a great example) and rock climbing where the demand for skillfulness is high and the feedback is immediate. Surgery is a great example of being in a flow state and many find flow while gardening, creating art, weaving or as I do when performing music. 

By aligning challenges with skills, maintaining focus, setting clear goals, and fostering intrinsic motivation, you can increase the likelihood of experiencing the state of flow in your daily life. Embrace the flow state as a pathway to heightened productivity, creativity, and personal fulfillment. Flow = More meaningful engagement! 

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

How to Beat the Funk: Promoting Positivity for You and Your Team

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Last month we focused on PERMA, the evidence-based model developed by Dr. Martin Seligman that facilitates higher performance with sustained well-being. This month let’s dive a bit deeper and focus on positive emotion, the “P” in the PERMA model. First of all, let’s begin with why positive emotions matter and a reminder to strive for continual flexing of this mental muscle. Here are four compelling reasons:

1. Get more done in less time. When mood is elevated, it’s a major boost to productivity. You’ve probably noticed when you’re experiencing positive emotions, how it helps attend to staying on task. 

2. Think in a more open-minded, broader way. Need to collaborate more? Experiencing positive emotions helps ramp up the sage strength of curiosity, ever the conduit of exploring more beyond what one already knows. Ah if we had more of this in our world, imagine all the great collaboration and peace that could be forged.  

3. Think in a more flexible and integrated way. Want to increase the chance that solutions will be more creative? How about helping your team to be higher-functioning? Elevating the mood to experience positive emotions promotes the sage strengths of innovation, which is what all teams and organizations need right now to grow and thrive during the most volatile times ever.

4. Expand your repertoire and influence. Experiencing positive emotions helps people think in ways that build their repertoire, that is promoting action that is likely to be more thoughtful, clear, creative, and perhaps even leading to more win-win outcomes. When influence expands, so does impact. 

Did you know that there are fewer positive emotions than negative ones? Just like it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown, there are fewer positive emotions to practice, so why not make life a little simpler and better – go for practicing and mastering those emotions that position you for greater success and well-being?  

Certainly, negative emotions play a crucial role deeply rooted in survival, typically eliciting a quick physical response to avoid danger. However, most threats demand higher cognitive functioning. Consequently, the survival part of the brain along with its accompanying physical responses such as fight or flight, will not serve creative, innovative thinking in the conference room. The only way to thrive is to harness the power of positive emotions.

So how do we experience more positive emotion?

As in building any skill, consider building your optimism muscle, practice is what primes the positive emotion pump. And the more practice that is employed, the more natural and consistently, you will experience positive emotions. The cool thing about practice and priming is how it invites even more positivity into your world; it’s a contagion effect.  

Here are four simple ways to incorporate more positivity.

1. Schedule positive and pleasant experiences on a regular basis, it could be with family, friends, or colleagues.

2. Read or watch short videos that are inspiring and positive

3. Keep pictures handy that inspire and create positive emotions in the moment. They can be pics of loved ones, people who inspire you or something else that inspires you

4. Generate positive words or mantras. One of my favorite phrases when I’m feeling uncertain or overwhelmed is “It’ll work out” (and it usually does!)

These quick tips are tactical and certainly not meant to replace deeper reflection or more thoughtful appraisal. Positive emotions are fleeting and yet they serve in a way that helps us shift to a more creative, competent, strength-based state of mind to get out of a funk and into a more collaborative, creative, big-picture, get-it-done and be happier kinda way.

For an even deeper, more impactful dive to infuse more positivity into your world in a strategic plan-inspired fashion, consider our 14-session package for you and your team. It includes our Positive Intelligence® program, as well as additional goodies on savoring, forgiveness, gratitude, satisficers vs maximizers and much more.   

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Unleashing PERMA for Peak Performance and Sustained Well-Being

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

In the hustle-bustle of our daily lives, achieving a harmonious balance between professional success and personal well-being can often feel like an elusive goal. We’re constantly searching for that magic formula that not only boosts our performance at work but also nurtures our overall happiness and fulfillment. Enter PERMA – an acronym coined by Seligman, representing five essential elements that contribute to a flourishing life. Let’s unpack how embracing PERMA can serve as a compass for navigating the journey toward peak performance and sustainable well-being. 

 “Focusing on performance alone and not well-being negatively impacts performance in the long run. Similar to cars and heeding our mind-body connection, peak performance is made possible and longer-lasting when attention is devoted to both well-being and performance. There’s an inextricable link between performance and well-being. This is our “why” at Metamorphosis Coaching, to focus on growing both for optimal impact.”  – Dr. Doni 

Positive Emotions (P): Elevate Your Mood

The first element of PERMA, Positive Emotions, emphasizes the importance of cultivating joy, gratitude, and other uplifting feelings in our daily lives. By consciously seeking out and appreciating positive experiences, we can enhance our overall mood and build a reservoir of emotional well-being. Whether it’s relishing a beautiful sunset, expressing gratitude for small victories, or savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, infusing positivity into our routine can lay the foundation for a more fulfilling life.

Engagement (E): Find Your Flow

Engagement involves immersing ourselves in activities that captivate our attention and align with our skills. This state of flow, as psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes it, occurs when we are fully absorbed in a challenging and rewarding task. By identifying our strengths and leveraging them in our professional and personal pursuits, we can achieve a sense of mastery that propels us toward peak performance and fulfillment. It’s about losing track of time because we’re so engrossed in what we’re doing – a sure sign that we’re in the zone.

Relationships (R): Cultivate Meaningful Connections

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and nurturing positive relationships is a crucial aspect of well-being. The ‘R’ in PERMA underscores the significance of building and maintaining meaningful connections with others. Strong social bonds provide emotional support, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. Investing time in relationships, both at work and in our personal lives, contributes not only to our mental health but also enhances our overall life satisfaction. After all, the joy of shared experiences and accomplishments is unparalleled.

Meaning (M): Discover Your Purpose

Leading a meaningful life involves aligning our actions with a greater purpose or cause. It’s about finding significance beyond the mundane tasks and daily grind. By identifying our values and setting goals that resonate with our inner beliefs, we infuse our lives with a sense of direction and purpose. Whether it’s contributing to a cause we’re passionate about or pursuing a career that aligns with our values, the ‘M’ in PERMA encourages us to seek meaning in our endeavors, fostering a deeper connection with our work and lives.

Accomplishment (A): Celebrate Your Achievements

The pursuit of goals and the sense of accomplishment they bring are integral to a flourishing life. Acknowledging our achievements, both big and small, fuels our motivation and self-esteem. The ‘A’ in PERMA prompts us to set realistic goals, break them down into manageable steps, and celebrate our progress along the way. By recognizing our accomplishments, we not only boost our confidence but also create a positive feedback loop that propels us toward future success.

Overall, PERMA serves as a holistic framework for enhancing performance and well-being. By consciously incorporating Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment into our daily lives, we can create a positive spiral that fosters resilience, satisfaction, and a sense of fulfillment. As we navigate the intricate dance between work and personal life, embracing the PERMA model can guide us towards a more balanced, purposeful, and ultimately, flourishing existence. 

Interested in how you may embrace PERMA to amplify your well-being and performance? We have a special 14-session package designed for leaders at all levels. What we cover in these sessions may be applied at work and home, so there’s double the ROI! Topics we’ll cover and implement include forgiveness, gratitude, savoring, building optimism, leveraging strengths and much more.  

To learn more, schedule a call with us:

Systems Expedite Success in 2024

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Happy New Year and may your 2024 be off to a magnificent start! One way you may get your organization to the next level is through the acquisition of a system to attract star performers. We call this “Hire Right the First Time©” and are excited to roll out a new system to help organizations enhance their hiring and selection processes. Our “why” for offering this service is four-fold:

1. To help organizations hire high-performing employees
2. Streamline the hiring process
3. Reduce turnover
4. Save money

“Systems are for those who care about winning repeatedly” – James Clear 

“Hire Right the First Time” consists of three steps: an audit of your current system, creating or updating competencies, and using assessments to determine cultural fit and more. For more information on our comprehensive system DOWNLOAD OUR BROCHURE HERE.

Last month we talked about “Knowing Thyself” as the first step every leader must take to be effective. One strategy to this end is through the use of assessments to reveal the big picture of how leaders think, feel and behave. Many organizations use one or two assessments, but few rarely use a cluster to reveal how leaders think, feel, and are motivated to do what they do.

One step of “Hire Right the First Time” includes using three different assessments, powered by Hogan Assessment insights. This trinity of insights reveals a candidate’s motives, values, preferences, personality, strengths, and risks/dark tendencies. For a limited time, we are offering this trio of assessments at a special promotional price. 

To learn more, schedule a call with us. 

Ten Reasons Consistent Celebrating is Necessary for Peak Performance

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

Celebrating serves many important purposes at work and in life, and its significance can be seen in different aspects including social, psychological, and cultural dimensions. This month, when there are many gatherings and social events, from office holiday parties to family gatherings, there’s no better time to practice the art of celebrating. Feeling like celebrating is just a ‘nice to have’ layer in your life? Here are several reasons to rethink and reframe celebrating as a ‘must have’ practice:

1. Positive Reinforcement: Celebrations often mark achievements, milestones, or positive events. Recognizing and celebrating these moments provide positive reinforcement, motivating individuals or groups to continue their efforts and maintain a positive outlook. As we often share in client sessions, practicing optimism by celebrating helps to invite more positivity. It’s one of the basic laws of the universe, we attract what we give.
2. Social Bonding: Celebrations bring people together, fostering a sense of community and strengthening social bonds. Whether it’s a family gathering, a cultural festival, or a national holiday, celebrations provide opportunities for people to connect, share experiences, and build relationships.
3. Cultural Identity: Many celebrations are deeply rooted in cultural traditions and customs. Participating in these events helps individuals connect with their cultural identity, preserving and passing on important traditions to future generations.
4. Emotional Well-Being: Celebrations contribute to emotional well-being by creating moments of joy, happiness, and shared positive experiences. These events provide a break from routine and can serve as a source of stress relief and mental rejuvenation.
5. Reflection & Gratitude: Celebrations often prompt reflection on achievements, personal growth, and the positive aspects of life. This reflective process can lead to feelings of gratitude, helping individuals appreciate what they have and fostering a more optimistic mindset. To live a life that is full of celebrations, it’s necessary to celebrate!
6. Marking Transitions: Celebrations often accompany significant life transitions, such as birthdays, weddings, graduations, and retirements. These events help individuals and communities acknowledge and navigate major life changes, providing closure to one phase and welcoming the next.
7. Cultural Exchange: Celebrations can provide opportunities for cultural exchange, allowing people to learn about and appreciate different customs, traditions, and perspectives. This fosters mutual understanding and respect among diverse groups.
8. Motivation & Inspiration: Celebrating achievements, both big and small, can inspire individuals to set new goals and strive for further success. It reinforces the idea that hard work and effort are rewarded and encourages a positive and proactive mindset.
9. Ritual & Routine: Celebrations often follow a set of rituals and traditions, providing a sense of structure and continuity in people’s lives. These rituals can be comforting and help create a sense of order and predictability.
10. It Adds Levity to our Otherwise ‘Heavy’ Lives: With change happening more frequently than most can keep pace with, and worldwide events that can add more stress, even when it feels unwelcome, celebrating, can help us to get out of a funk. We even go so far as to encourage our clients to embrace and celebrate failures and reframe them as ways to learn, re-do and become more resilient.

Celebrating plays a crucial role by promoting social connections, fostering positive emotions, preserving cultural identity, and providing moments of reflection and inspiration. It contributes to the overall well-being and cohesion of individuals, teams and communities. December is a great month to ramp up celebrating and practice this one habit of optimism.  Remember to celebrate often and consider journaling daily celebrations for a dramatic shift toward more joy.

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

A First Step Leaders Must Do to Effectively Lead!

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

What happens when inspiration collides with affirmation? Short answer… embrace the opportunity and instinct and act!

As we prepare to roll out a new Hiring and Selection service in early 2024, I was inspired to revisit why it’s important to “Lead Yourself First©” to effectively lead others and drive desired results. Then I attended a 2-day conference and much of this time for developing CEO mindsets was devoted to knowing thyself to grow into a more powerful business owner. A couple of weeks later, a conversation with a colleague took me on a deeper dive into “Know Thyself” to effectively lead others. And then today, in a meeting with a prospective client, the concept of leading yourself to lead others came up again.

Coincidence? No, because it’s true, the first step to being an effective leader, whether you’re the CEO or just emerging into leadership, is to know yourself. When you understand yourself, you can effectively manage and lead yourself. This drives inspiration. And in order to influence for impact, a leader must inspire. We call this “Lead Yourself First©” and it’s all about mastery of personal leadership. Echoing what I shared earlier on a call with a prospective client, performance and well-being are not mutually exclusive. You can only give your best when you are your best and part of that is understanding what makes you tick.

In our soon-to-be-revealed Hiring and Selection Service, assessments are used to glean as much information as possible to determine the right fit for a candidate within an organization. Assessments are the best way to gather this wealth of data. More to come soon on the program we’ll offer and the assessments to gather how a person thinks, feels and is motivated to perform [in the workplace].

By understanding how you think, feel, and are motivated to act, you can predict and regulate the following areas:

1. Values – are the alpha and omega of aligning with your decisions and what motivates you to act. As a leader, it’s critical to understand your core values. When values are not aligned, it is a recipe for conflict, whether it is internal within your mind or external with those in your sphere of influence.

2. Strengths – the acid test of strength is something that is done successfully, repeatedly and happily (the latter because it upholds a value or two in some way and an activity is more likely to be successfully repeated when it is valued and enjoyed). 

3. Triggers/Saboteurs – we all have them and when you can name them, you can tame them. This is where our Positive Intelligence work is implicated. We must tame our saboteurs so they don’t rob us of our performance potential and sustained well-being.

4. Limitations – we all have these as well. And knowing where we’re at risk is crucial. Then it’s helpful to either delegate or outsource so time and money are not wasted.

5. Motivators and Preferences – to work within your genius zone, it’s necessary to understand what drives you and how you prefer to operate. From how you energize, to your communication preferences to how you make decisions and problem-solve, it’s essential to know your style and what motivates you.

There are many ways we can help you Lead Yourself First to Effectively Lead Others. From assessments to experiencing our transformational Positive Intelligence™ program to using our “Lead Yourself First©” interactive card deck, there’s an option for you and your team!

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

It’s OK to NOT be OK – and there’s an Inc. 5000 acclaimed solution to the rescue!

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D., ACPEC

As I sit here pondering thoughts for the kickoff to the last quarter of the year, I cannot help but realize my stress level is a bit higher than it was last month. I’m confident in my self-awareness that it’s because we’re in peak hurricane season here in Southwest Florida, there’s a monster Category 5 storm swirling around in the Atlantic and I and so many in my community are traumatized and have PTSD from Hurricane Ian last year, that wreaked havoc in our paradise. One year later, street signs and business signs are still missing, many traffic signals are also missing, homes have not been renovated or rebuilt, our barrier islands are dramatically changed, and those who flooded like my family, are NERVOUS and a bit ANXIOUS!  

And then the rest of our nation is approaching some frenzy with last quarter revenue goals, the holidays are approaching adding another layer of things to do, and many of the organizations we work with continue to navigate an evolving environment whether they are dipping their toes in the AI pool (stay tuned for an upcoming Executive Leadership Forum on this topic), or striving to settle into normal operations in a hybrid or fully-remote workforce.

How You Show Up for Yourself is How You Show Up for Others

To lead by example, it is critical to show up cheerfully and confidently if you are to inspire. This is one practice from our ‘Lead Yourself First’ system. So, let’s squash the gloom and doom because if and when you are living in the moment, unless that proverbial shark is literally biting you in the butt, it is very difficult to be ‘stressed’. There’s a powerful Asian Proverb I’ve always admired that captures this essence:

Those who live in the past are depressed. Those who live in the future are anxious. Those who live in the present are at peace.

And yet it’s difficult because living in the moment is an art contingent upon a foundation backed by science and built by practice.  

If you’ve been following us for even a few months, you’re probably a little familiar with Positive Intelligence® or PQ for short. PQ is a mental operating system with research grounded in four different fields of science, including neuroscience – with evidence from fMRIs showing the development of new neural pathways when the Mental OS is followed and practiced. I and all of my team are Certified PQ coaches and whenever we begin with a new client, we ‘require’ a foundation in PQ because we know the power it has to clear out the cobwebs, dramatically reduce stress and positively impact performance and relationships. Much of the practice is about disrupting our sabotaging brain bullies that can turn our mind into our worst enemy, crippling performance and productivity, inflicting damage upon our important relationships with others and overall, putting a major dent in happiness and well-being.

But don’t just take my word for it, we are proud to announce that Positive Intelligence® has made the prestigious Inc. 5000 list for 2023, appearing as number 567 on the list. Woohoo! This explosive growth is a testament to the power and transformational potential that PQ affords. Not to say I told you so, though I recall a few months ago how I mentioned PQ is sweeping the globe and will soon be a household and organizational word. To see the full list of other Inc 5000 organizations CLICK HERE.

Using factor analysis to go to the root cause, PQ has radically simplified how we increase our performance and well-being by growing 3 core mental muscles. And to give you an idea of how we grow one of them, the self-command muscle, here’s one of a hundred or so exercises that can help to disrupt the saboteurs that can compromise our strengths and overtake our lives.

5-4-3-2-1 Focus

Name/label:

five things you can see

four things you can hear

three things you can touch

two things you can smell

one thing you can taste

Preparing items for touch, smell and taste in advance can be beneficial to avoid any last-minute scrambling during the meditation. The point is to focus deeply on each physical sensation, disrupt negative mind chatter or triggers, and drop back down into your body so you can then resume activities on a more grounded level and access the sage part of your brain that resides in your pre-frontal cortex (not the survival-based limbic system).  

One variation on this exercise can be to pick a color, like green, which is great if you’re doing this exercise while outdoors, and name all the things in your environment that are the color green. There can be many things to listen to outdoors. Smell might take a little effort so be intentional about that, as well as for taste. And on the mention of intentionality, this, along with some discipline are what create new habits to build skills and live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. So are you curious?

For organizations that have Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), we have a white paper to share on how PQ can supplement your current offerings and help employees in a very proactive way. The World Health Organization has revealed that 12 billion work days are lost globally to depression and anxiety, costing 1 trillion dollars per year in lost productivity. Being proactive by building mental fitness can help your employees in a way with less stigma than many mental health remedies while removing stigma and saving your organization substantially in lost revenue.

Interested in the white paper on how PQ can support your EAPs or are you ready to do something about stress for you and your employees? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Averting Organizational Crisis with Emotional Intelligence

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

September 2023

Just when EI development was flourishing, with organizations prioritizing the development of essential skills for their leaders and teams, the pandemic hit and created a backward slide. The ripple effect is multifaceted and includes negative impacts on employee engagement and well-being and fueled organizational attrition.

Organizations are now struggling to retain and attract top talent, and it’s commonplace for industries like healthcare and hospitality to pay higher wages to fill their gaps. However, there are more opportunities beyond compensation, as per McKinsey & Company’s Great Attrition/Great Attraction survey from April 2021 to April 2022, which identified twelve reasons for employee turnover. We assert that emotional intelligence deficiencies are at least indirectly related to each of the twelve reasons employees quit their organizations.

Let’s connect some dots. Listen to the video below for highlights and read the full article in Emotional Intelligence Magazine. CLICK HERE FOR OUR ARTICLE IN EI MAGAZINE

When was the last time you had your Leadership Team take an Assessment to help you measure your current competencies?

Schedule your complimentary strategy session here to explore possibilities for your Leaders and their teams: 

Eliminating Toxicity for Greater Self-Actualization

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

July/August 2023

Many times, clients or prospective clients will show up for a session and express that they’re not feeling fulfilled in their work or are stuck trying to determine next steps. These next steps could be pursuing another role with a different organization, positioning for a promotion within their current organization, or we’ve even heard prospective clients ask for clarity on what they call a “side hustle.” With this particular topic, we’ve found it useful to apply a combination of curiosity and the sage power of navigate to get to the heart of what matters most. Beginning with the end in mind, doing a bit of reverse engineering can be powerful to connect purpose and vision for a client, as this will ultimately lead to higher levels of the emotional intelligence skill of self-actualization. Self-actualization is becoming and living the greatest and truest version of yourself so you are deeply fulfilled and living a purposeful life.

We often uncover that there are three areas to explore, some of which can take some time to tease out. These three areas, in combination with truly understanding what you are tolerating, can help to gain clarity. When we peel back the layers of the proverbial onion, we discover that clients who are stuck or feel unfulfilled are tolerating toxicity in some fashion. The following quote was the inspiration for this blog’s topic:

“I like my products like I like my people: non-toxic”
Source unknown

And…

“You get what you tolerate”
– Henry Cloud

Let’s address the three most common areas we examine to help clients get ‘unstuck’ and live a more purposeful, fulfilled life. We thought this is a timely topic for the summer months as many travel and take a little time to reflect on what matters most.

Values – As all of our clients are familiar with, we incorporate clarity of core values into every engagement, whether it is an executive or team engagement. For our executive clients, values are important because they represent who we are. When we’re not living our values or stifling those that are most important, the result is misalignment which can lead to frustration, feeling stuck, overwhelm or burnout.  

Values serve as a compass, for individuals and organizations. When they are honored and upheld, meaningful impact is achieved, along with greater fulfillment [of mission or purpose]. 

Boundaries – are another area we often find clients struggling to maintain. Particularly for those who might have a strong Avoider or Pleaser Saboteur (from the Positive Intelligence platform we use), we uncover how boundaries are either not maintained, might be blurred or not well-established.  

It’s important to note that there are different types of boundaries to maintain and the areas we explore include boundaries that are physical, time-bound, or information-bound. Physical boundaries might be our space or environment. For those working remotely, it may be challenging to keep home life from interfering. Distractions or interruptions like dogs, temptations to do chores, deliveries, kids, and spouses can all blur the boundary needed to be as effective and efficient as possible. A favorite example of time boundaries is carving out designated times to do or not do tasks; we work a lot with leaders to respect the sacred space of weekends and evenings so they do not intrude on their employees’ precious time away from work. Employee productivity and well-being are positively correlated! And information boundaries are about what types of data/communications/etc may or may not be shared with individuals in your sphere of influence.

Energy Drains and Fillers – this is the third area we explore to learn what is lighting up or sucking the life from clients. And notice a theme here again of three things that we focus upon: people, places, things. This is an exercise we often do with clients, where we have them create a document that they can add to over time. Who are the people you love to be around who recharge your batteries and bring you more enjoyment? Who are those that drag you down or suck the life from you, perhaps so much that your recovery rate requires a lot of precious time? What are the places that lift you up and conversely, what are the places that drain you or create dread? Finally, what things or activities light you up and what are those that are life and soul-sucking?

Creating a core honesty around these three areas is difficult. Typically because there’s an opportunity to develop greater self-awareness – to understand all triggers and all associated emotions.   

There’s a lot of positive and emotional intelligence we can apply here to help you and your team have greater awareness and to show up more purposefully so you get more done, and have greater fulfillment and well-being. It all connects to performance and well-being and this results in the highest levels of self-actualization. Let’s kick those toxic tolerations to the curb, weaken the saboteurs and maximize self-actualization for you and your team.

Curious about learning how you or your team may self-actualize or perhaps would like to take our Positive Intelligence Saboteur Assessment? Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Don’t Do What I Did: Do THIS Instead for Greater Impact and Reduced Stress

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

June 2023

The following article was published in the April 2023 edition of Emotional Intelligence Magazine and is slightly edited.  CLICK HERE TO READ ON THE EI MAGAZINE PLATFORM

We all have triggers or “hot buttons” that cause us to become agitated, worried, or angry. These triggers can vary from person to person and are often influenced by our environment. For example, being stuck in traffic can lead to road rage, while technical issues with your computer can cause heightened stress levels. Additionally, certain people in our lives can be major sources of frustration, as well as tasks that require a lot of focus and energy. 

Becoming aware of our emotional triggers and understanding how we react to them is essential for developing emotional intelligence. Becoming mindful of the three-step process – Awareness of the trigger, Acceptance of the trigger, and Contemplated Action – can help us to effectively manage our responses in a more emotionally intelligent manner.

Here’s a little vulnerability in a true case story and something that was a triggering event for me.

I live in Southwest Florida, and my community was devasted after Hurricane Ian made landfall on September 28, 2022. Like so many in our area, my home flooded from storm surge, had to be completely gutted down to wall studs, and required a complete interior rebuild and renovation.

One necessary item to rehab inside our home was 14 interior doors, something my husband and I thought would be simple items to purchase, especially when the ordering process went fairly smoothly inside a local Big Box store. The following morning after placing the order, I realized we were one door short, so I stopped in the same store after a difficult day and, for forty-five minutes, attempted to get assistance at the door department. I went to two other departments and asked for an associate to be paged, and although they promised to make the page, I never heard any announcement over the store’s loudspeaker. I then asked six other store associates, and not one of them was able to help me. One associate told me to go to customer service, where the line was about 30 people deep.

I felt my anger bubbling up, my body was already overheated, and I was also a bit dehydrated. After feeling overwhelmed by the ridiculously long customer service line, I returned to the door department. Finally, someone appeared behind the desk! When I approached the associate and asked for her assistance, I was thrilled when she said yes. I showed my appreciation by thanking her profusely for her help after waiting in line for 45 minutes to order one last door.

To my disappointment, she said she couldn’t order the door for me because she was “just a sales associate” and didn’t have the authority to place an order. My anger again began to build.

She told me that I would need to come back another time, but couldn’t give me a specific time frame for when would be best. She explained that the person responsible for the department might have taken a break. I asked her to check the breakroom, but she seemed reluctant. Despite my attempts at being polite and explaining that I had already waited for over 45 minutes, she did not budge, and remarked that “associates are entitled to take breaks.” That was the last straw for me, and the anger I suppressed was at a breaking point and exploded out of me.

After months of enduring extreme stress, I snapped back at the associate and said she and her associates were poorly trained and didn’t care at all about customers yet were quite good at processing payments. I continued to spout off and stormed out of the store, hollering while I made my way to the exit – not one of my finer moments.

This story gets even juicier. A few weeks later…

After receiving emails confirming the arrival of our doors, the store couldn’t locate any of them when we attempted to pick them up. Our general contractor and I visited the store multiple times to locate and collect our order, but we were unsuccessful each time. The store associates became increasingly agitated with our requests for help, often yelling at us as we inquired from one associate to the next and then to a supervisor.

The experience was utterly shocking to me. Although employees of this store were poorly trained, among other deficiencies, my response exacerbated my stress and wasted more time. In retrospect, my husband and I would have been better served by canceling the order after the initial negative experience and taking our business elsewhere. 

We all get emotionally hijacked at some point or another if we don’t intercept our emotions before they become reactions. Failure to pause in these moments of strong emotional arousal leads to a lack of emotionally intelligent expression. The results are wasted time, unhealthy interactions with others, and an even bigger stress response. 

Here’s an easy-to-apply system to consider when preparing for another amygdala (emotional) hijacking.

First, the 3As:

Awareness – first, it’s necessary to bring attention to and understand what we are feeling and why. This isn’t as easy as it may seem. We might not know how to identify what emotion we’re experiencing, especially if there is an array of (potentially conflicting) emotions. 

In my example, I was angry, and there was also extreme frustration that was fueling my anger. 

Tips for developing awareness: Journaling can be helpful in documenting and making sense of triggering events. It allows you the opportunity to reflect and compare patterns over time to increase emotional self-awareness.

Acceptance – essential to managing our emotions and reactions. It is an important step towards cultivating our emotional intelligence, allowing us to examine different viewpoints objectively. In accepting the reality of our situation – no matter how unpleasant or difficult it may be – we gain a sense of control that empowers us to take charge of our emotions and reactions. “Acceptance is the only form of total control we have.”  Are you cultivating a core honesty with yourself in terms of how you accept a trigger or hijacking?

Action – specifically contemplated action, is choosing how to respond in a positive and impactful way, which leads to the next phase of the system, also using memorable alliteration. The 4Ps Process is used by Multi-Health Systems and their model of Emotional Intelligence, the EQi-2.0.

The 4Ps:

Pause – When we take a moment to pause, our prefrontal cortex is allowed to intervene and regulate the amygdala’s more primitive “freeze, flight or fight” instincts. This process can be likened to pressing the proverbial “pause button” on a remote control, granting our brains the necessary moments of reflection and self-regulation.

Deep diaphragmatic breathing is one of the most effective ways to activate this pause, as it helps interrupt the stress response cycle and provides a much-needed moment of clarity. It also allows us to access higher-order functions in our brains.

Process – after allowing some time for the sympathetic nervous system and amygdala to reset, now reflect upon potential next steps. There are two parts to processing – idea generation and anticipating how obstacles may impact our desired outcome.

Idea generation is an invaluable creative process that can help spur innovation and create solutions. To achieve the greatest success with this technique, it is important to generate as many ideas as possible without judging or critiquing them. This ensures a large pool of possibilities from which to choose, as well as allowing for the creative flow to remain unencumbered. Additionally, taking the time to actively move during idea generation can help keep things fresh and fun. Finally, after a large list of possibilities has been generated, obstacles can be anticipated for each potential solution.

Pick – Systems are more effective when there is a contingency plan involved. Choose two or three possible ideas from the list of ideas generated and evaluated in the ‘Process’ step. Consider Plan A to be the most desirable, mind-blowing option. Plan B is the middle-of-the-road, safe and reliable option. Plan C is the bare minimum option from which anything less is intolerable or acceptable.

Perform – Time to implement the option you have chosen from the ‘Pick’ step. This final step is the actual “doing” or behavior you have carefully and intentionally contemplated. After performing, wrap up the system by evaluating the impact or outcome, as it’s the only way to determine if you will rinse and repeat or tweak in some way. Having an accountability partner or strategic advisor can be a bonus to share feedback so you may continuously evolve and grow.

We all have triggers and a baseline for how much we can tolerate. Dr. Marshall Goldsmith says, “We are on this earth to make a positive difference,” – and the way we may show up in this manner more consistently is by exercising emotional intelligence. ‘Awareness, Acceptance, and Action’ is the first half of the system to exercise emotional intelligence, and Pausing, Processing, Picking, and Performing will ensure that our actions and responses are as positive as possible!

Curious about taking your or your team’s performance and well-being to the next level? Let’s connect to discuss your intentions. Schedule your complimentary strategy session here: 

Mutual Accountability – What, Why, How in Your Organization

Part 4 of a 4-Part Series

by Doni Landefeld, Ph.D. 
Advanced Certified Personal and Executive Coach
Certified Positive Intelligence Coach
EQ-i 2.0 and EQ360 Certified

May 2023

Imagine a culture where team members care as much about their colleagues’ successes as they do their own, including the journey or path toward achievement. The journey will most likely have some bumps in the road and yet, regard and respect for one another is so high, that team members are delighted to pause their work and take some time to help the colleague who runs into an obstacle in the road. With this regard also comes the tacit understanding that there is a reciprocal “lifting up” of one another that includes calling out any negativity or limiting beliefs that will surely sabotage team initiatives.

This month we’re focusing on mutual accountability, the fourth pillar to building high-powered, highly-functioning teams. Fostering mutual accountability initially begins with the team leader and then blossoms into a flattened hierarchy where everyone assumes the role of being equal partners. Mutual accountability occurs when the leader creates a culture where everyone holds each other accountable for both results and conduct.   

Conduct can be positive, negative or lie somewhere in between the two poles. As with any behavior, we spread sage contagion when we model what we want to see in others and reinforce desired behavior through recognition and celebration. So, to get even more positivity, model and exude a positive outlook, publicly recognize and celebrate behaviors and outcomes when they are moving the organization forward. When the opposite occurs, and behaviors are not conducive to desired results, it’s very important to separate the behavior from the individual. Many leaders fall into this trap and forget to isolate the problem from the individual. Call out what you see and ask how you may support the individual to help them course correct (e.g., “Sally, I’m noticing that you appear frustrated and didn’t deliver the Profit and Loss statement during the date we all agreed upon. How may I help you?”). Always come from a place of support and positivity, and never ever publicly criticize.

When conduct is managed, desired results happen more effortlessly. There are a few other ingredients, however, to establish mutual accountability to drive results: 

1.  Co-creation – just like a healthy coaching and consulting engagement, giving everyone the opportunity to reverse engineer a project from end to beginning will garner more buy-in and motivation. This is a time to keep the controller saboteur at bay so everyone feels safe and inspired to take initiative. Using the sage power of navigate is an appropriate strategy to use to focus on what matters most and how the team will be addressing pain points or potential obstacles.

2.  Establish agreements over expectations – let’s tip our hat to the great Steve Chandler for this strategy which is brilliant. So many organizations use the term “expectations” in anything from job descriptions to project deliverables to operations. Expectations breed toxicity and mistrust because they imply a powerplay. If a team is to feel safe to hold one another accountable, the healthier way to do this is to create agreements with one another and for the team overall. Co-creation is then taking place and the agreement represents a “contract” which can be amended or revisited if a bump in the road occurs.  

3.  Vulnerability – is always the most important ingredient to generate trust. There are hundreds of ways to demonstrate vulnerability and one of my favorites is when a leader admits that they don’t have an answer [yet] and are working, reflecting, or researching to find a possible solution at which time they’ll go back to the team to bounce the idea around.

4.  Using a coaching approach – identified as one of the top 5 most important competencies that a leader needs to adopt in the year ahead (from the Brandon Hall group), is to grow team members through a coach approach. This involves asking questions to help team members tap into their inner wisdom to move forward. Instead of a leader being a ‘sage of the stage’, solving problems, it’s more about being a guide on the side to empower, transform behavior and do so in a way that motivates each individual team member.  

5.  Defer to praise and positivity – mentioned in a previous paragraph discussing conduct, we get what we give. If we model positivity, we will experience even more of it and invite more creativity and innovation.  This fuels results.   Publicly celebrate, privately counsel.  

Once these elements are incorporated, mutual accountability will get traction. Then, it’s just a matter of fine-tuning and looking for ways to rinse, repeat and update as projects evolve or as the team grows. 

Curious about contrasting low vs high mutual accountability? The following chart provides examples:

If you’re familiar with Patrick Lencioni’s model of high-performing teams, you no doubt see many parallels made in what we’ve presented in this article, as well as the previous 3 pillars. Achieving and using all 4 pillars drives desired results. And you also have 5 strategies from this article to establish mutual accountability. To this, and as a bonus, we may add three emotional intelligence skills to leverage: assertiveness, self-regard and impulse control.

Assertiveness is important in any form of team-building or negotiating; we always want to avoid aggressiveness or passivity.

Self-regard is important to know yourself so you may be able to connect with and understand others (empath).  

And impulse control is critical to regulate and temper what may or may not be appropriate to express.

So, we’ve now covered all four leadership pillars necessary for creating high-powered teams. If you missed one or more or would like to unpack how they might exist in your organization, let’s connect. There’s a team assessment we include as part of our Positive Intelligence program with the High-Powered Teams component. And for those of you who did the foundational Positive Intelligence program, recall how your saboteur assessment results were uncanny – so just imagine what can come out in the team assessment! Going from ‘me’ to ‘we’! 

Here’s a recap of the 4 pillars of High-Powered Teams:

1. Triple Purpose (we covered in February’s newsletter)
2. Earned Trust (March’s newsletter)
3. Healthy Conflict  (April’s newsletter)
4. Mutual Accountability  (May) 

Did you know there’s a program for your team or organization to learn and master the Four Pillars of High-Powered Teams and Leadership? It begins with a 7-week foundational Positive Intelligence program and segues into a transformational experience for Leadership Teams and Executives.  

If you’d like to learn how to re-energize your team and ignite inspiration, let’s explore your challenges. Schedule your complimentary right-fit session here: